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The Grifters Are Coming, The Grifters Are Coming! Sarah Palin Revisits Paul Revere's Famous Midnight Ride

World famous historian and renowned tour guide Sarah Palin continues to crisscross America in a rented tour bus to help bring knowledge (and laughter!) to the nation on her unique, one-woman quest to make history as the first woman to serve as Commander in Chief cause the nation’s collective IQ to drop a couple of points every time she opens her mouth.

Like the truth about Paul Revere’s famous 1775 midnight horseback ride through the countryside to warn fellow patriots Samuel Adams and John Hancock of the British Army’s approach on the eve of the Revolutionary War.

“He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”

Could she be any more brilliant?? I mean seriously, people! Who else but Sarah Louise Palin could know that Paul Revere was actually ridin’ around banging on bells and firing shots into the sky like some tweaky Wasilla meth freak with a semi-automatic and an Iron Maiden t-shirt, all to protect our 2nd Amendment rights which wouldn’t even exist for another 16 years?

The answer is of course, no one! Which is why our favoritest snowbilly grifter was forced to turn to, where else, Fox News to set the record straight and present the real fair and balanced truth, without the liberal lamestream media bias like facts or historical accuracy to screw it all up.

Besides, it’s not like she was wrong on everything. His name was Paul and he did ride a horse! Okay, okay so maybe he was trying to warn Americans that the British were coming. But he was definitely also trying to warn the British and probably their horses too! Trust her, the man was positively hell bent on warning everything in his path!

From the New York Times:

“You know what? I didn’t mess up about Paul Revere,” she said. “In a shout-out, gotcha type of question that was asked of me, I answered candidly. And I know my American history.”

“Here is what Paul Revere did. He warned the Americans that the British were coming, the British were coming, and they were going to try take our arms and we got to make sure that we were protecting ourselves and shoring up all of ammunitions and our firearms so that they couldn’t take it.”

“But remember that the British had already been there, many soldiers for seven years in that area. And part of Paul Revere’s ride — and it wasn’t just one ride — he was a courier, he was a messenger. Part of his ride was to warn the British that we’re already there. That, hey, you’re not going to succeed. You’re not going to take American arms. You are not going to beat our own well-armed persons, individual, private militia that we have. He did warn the British.”

So there you have it. Paul Revere was runnin’ around shriekin’ warnings at anyone who would listen on his secret bus horse ride across the Northeast to save America from the British and secret Muslim terrorist Socialist Presidents tryin’ to take away their machine guns with high capacity magazines.

Oh, and if you’re wondering where the hell Paul Revere was to warn us that Sarah Palin was coming, wonder no more.

He quit his ride half-way through as true heroes do.

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