Republicans | Democralypse Now - The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites

Obama May Not Make The Ballot In Arizona Because Arizona Doesn't Need A Reason To Be The Dumb, Racist, Backwater Hellhole Everyone Is Embarrassed Of

“I See Brown People!”

Bored with their usual antics of deporting frightened Mexican and Mexican-ish looking people and denying ladies sluts access to baby murdering apparatus birth control (yawn!), the fine citizens of Aryanzona have turned their short, sun-scorched attention to another pressing matter: the true birth origins of a certain illegal Socialist, half-black, [...]

Rand Paul Doesn't Think Obama's Views On Marriage Could Get Any Gayer, Much Like His Skin Color Couldn't Get Any Blacker

If there’s one thing America simply cannot get enough of, it is the rich, racist, radical Kentucky-fried-son-of-a-wingnut whose not-so-evolved views on homosexuality and civil rights make even his ancient cryptkeeper father, Papa Ron, seem normal by comparison.

Almost.

Good thing Rand Paul will do whatever it takes, blurt whatever comes out of his big, white power [...]

What Women Want: To Open Up Their Legs & Let The Government In!

Republicans, Get In My Vagina!

When not spreading their legs to pop out even more precious li’l miracles of federal restrictions on reproductive rights, celebrities & celebrated owners of breasts and ovaries, Kate Beckinsale, Judy Greer and Andrea Savage “spread” the message that the one thing women really want in their vagina is the [...]

Michele Bachmann Knows Her Campaign Was "Mistake-Free" In The Same Way Her Husband Is Gay-Free

Michele, my (liberty) belle. How nice it must be to live in an alternate dimension, one where sexy, straight-as-pray-the-gay-away homosexual conversion therapists make the perfect hubbies (not to mention personal stylists!) and loony, pill-popping, Migraine-suffering (and inducing!), unhinged gaffe-magnets come thisclose to winning the Republican nomination courtesy of their near-flawless campaign.

Ignorance Psychosis is bliss, [...]

Mitt Romney Sticks To His "It Gets Worse" Campaign, Bravely Allowing His Gay Adviser To Be Bullied Out Of His Job

Oh no-zees! Looks like the constant spew of homophobic outrage from the strictly heterosexual, not-at-all-suspiciously-anal-sex-obsessed closet cases on the right over Mitt Romney’s hiring of an openly gay campaign adviser has worked its wondrous, sodomite-busting charms.

Apparently, the yelling was so loud about Mittens’ decision to hire a known homosexual to advise him on the GOP’s [...]

Justice Antonin Scalia Never Met A Hunt He Didn't Like, Including Arizona's "Hunt Brown People" Law

Supreme asshole and constant reminder of all that is wrong with our nation’s legal system, Justice Antonin Scalia did not disappoint in his latest opportunity to ruin America with terrible legislation aimed at those least able to defend themselves: the terrible, no good Mexicans.

You see, Scalia has never met a bad law he didn’t like, [...]

Minnesota GOP Is So Fiscally Conservative, They've Decided To Stop The Whole "Paying Rent" Thing & Join The Rest Of America By Getting Evicted Instead!

If there’s one thing the Republican Party is good at, it is talking about how good they are at all things money-related, more specifically, taking your hard-earned money and spending it on worthwhile things like strippers and smart bombs, not wasteful things like say, poor people or a year’s worth of rent for their Party [...]

Republicans Commemorate Holocaust Remembrance Day By Reminding Jews That Anti-Semitism Is Alive & Well In The Republican Party (Unlike Jews!)

While Virginia Republican and self-hating Heeb Eric Cantor was coyly suggesting there might, might be a slight anti-semitism problem among House GOP members (you don’t say!?), fellow Republican wingnut from Virginia’s parasitic hell twin to the West, John Raese, was busy proving it by comparing his need to fill his lungs with Marlboro [...]

Dick Cheney Speaks From The Heart, Now That He Finally Has One

Dick Cheney may finally have a heart, but you sure wouldn’t know it by listening to the man, the machine, the medical mutation known as former Vice President of Hell Dick Cheney.

He’s so excited about joining the rest of the human race in possessing an actual blood pumping organ made from muscle not [...]

Chris Christie Fears Americans Are Turning Into Couch Potatoes, Which He Will Then Deep Fry & Stuff Down His Throat

When not gobbling down Jersey Mike’s subs or helicoptering his hefty load from his Grand Canyon-sized couch to the nearest corrupt, corporate-sponsored, rich person’s bitchfest, New Jersey Gov. of Mass Chris Christie took a moment to warn the good people of AmeriCANT what happens when Uncle Sam meets La-Z-Boy. Other than a bunch of [...]