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The Democrats Brilliant New Health Care Strategy: Abandon Ship!

Well here’s a new, terrible idea about how to proceed on health care that makes no sense, meaning it is only a matter of time before the lovely Democrats decide to run with it, full steam ahead!

In the wake of the Dems’ embarrassing defeat at the hands of a Cosmo centerfold turned teabagging sensation in the arugula-eating gay mecca of Taxachusetts, Senate Health Committee Chairman Chris Dodd (D-CT) is suggesting that Democrats should “maybe take a breather for a month, six weeks” from health care reform, since the “much-needed break would allow lawmakers to regroup and focus on other issues.”

Yes, that’ll show ’em! Nothing shows strength, resolve and a united front in the face of adversity like running away screaming at the top of your lungs at the first sign of distress.

But, yes, everyone listen to Chris Dodo head because what better time to make a mad dash away from health reform than before anything is actually accomplished? That way, when you fail, at least you can say you didn’t try that hard!

Plus, just think of all the momentum you’ll have from your wild sprint from health care to tackle all those other pressing “issues” like bank regulation and Wall street oversight, what with everyone still focused on the health care reform that never happened and all.

I mean it’s not like regulating Wall Street so it no longer feasts solely on the misfortune of others is a hard task to accomplish or anything, since unlike health care, there’s no lobbyists, competing interests, or lawmakers with ulterior motives that may threaten to derail the whole thing.

Not to mention how hot the populist words “jobs” or “a bill to create jobs” are right now, which should make it a total breeze to pass through the worst, most dysfunctional institution in the history of mankind, the U.S. Congress. Hooray!

So, thank you Chris Dodd for your brilliant suggestion to ignore health care for oh, let’s say the next six weeks or so, until no one remembers they’re dying but too broke-ass to pay for it anyway, and Congress can once again look like the proud, effective cornerstone of democracy that it is.

Of course, Chris doesn’t really care either way since he’ll be retired and chillin’ with his hot man tan on a Connecticut beach this time next year.

But not everyone thinks cutting and running is the best move if President Obama and the Democrats hope to pass his signature issue, health care reform, at any point before being tossed out of office in a wave of insane teabagger-fueled hysteria.

Like former Democratic chairman and token rabble-rouser Howard Dean who had some sharp words for the Dems following their crushing blow in Massachusetts.

“We’ve got to be tougher. I’ve said the Democrats are not tough enough. Bush would have had the health care bill done a long time ago. He would have gone through reconciliation.”

Ha ha that’s cute, Dean! Except for the little fact that has Bush never even heard of the word reconciliation, let alone ever be caught actually doing something as pussy as that.

Besides, the only bills Bush rams through anything are ones that involve invading oil-rich countries, taking away our liberties, trampling the constitution, killing polar bears, fleecing the public, oppressing the gays, fattening his wallet while bankrupting the rest of us, and keeping him and Dick nice ‘n cozy calling the shots as the Decider(s)-in-Chief.

Not trying to help poor, sick losers he doesn’t even know get health care or something gay like that. Who do you think he is, Jimmy Carter or something?

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