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Super Sleuth Jimmy Carter Suspects Some People (Joe Wilson?) Hate Obama Just For Being Black!

Former President and soft-spoken peanut farmer Jimmy Carter is the lucky winner of this week’s state-the-obvious contest for his brilliant analysis of the motives behind South Carolina Rep. Joe “You lie” Wilson’s outburst last week during President Obama’s health care speech to Congress.

The Democratic statesman and peace-loving former world leader believes the actions of a certain disgraced, loudmouth member of Congress isn’t about health care at all, but rather part of a larger, disturbing trend directed at the president that has included such notable demonstrations as rage-filled secessionists trying to get the hell out of this now God-forsaken Socialist Union, shrieking protesters comparing Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler and assorted other Nazi leaders, and angry mobs of Confederate flag-waving, middle-aged white men accusing the President of trying to murder grandma just for shits and giggles (and maybe a little for health care too).

“Those kind of things are not just casual outcomes of a sincere debate on whether we should have a national program on health care,” Carter said during a town-hall meeting at his presidential center in Atlanta. “It’s deeper than that.”

You mean all the brouhaha isn’t just to protect grandma from that scary, dark Kenyan man?

“I think it’s based on racism,” he said. “There is an inherent feeling among many in this country that an African-American should not be president.”

What?? Where on earth did you get a crazy idea like that? I mean, what could have possibly given you that impression?

“I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man, that he’s African-American,” Carter said. “I live in the South, and I’ve seen the South come a long way, and I’ve seen the rest of the country that shares the South’s attitude toward minority groups at that time, particularly African-Americans.”

“That racism inclination still exists, and I think it’s bubbled up to the surface because of belief among many white people–not just in the South but around the country–that African Americans are not qualified to lead this great country. It’s an abominable circumstance, and it grieves me and concerns me very deeply,” Carter said.

“The president is not only the head of government, he is the head of state. And no matter who he is or how much we disagree with his policies, the president should be treated with respect.”

As long as he is white (without having a scary Joker face painted on him first), that is.

But one hip-hop loving, Republican freedom-fighter with balls of Steele, and the misfortune of sharing the same chocolatey hue as Obama, knows the truth.

“President Carter is flat-out wrong,” RNC chairman Michael Steele explained. “This isn’t about race. It is about policy.”

“Injecting race into the debate over critical issues facing American families doesn’t create jobs, reform our health care system or reduce the growing deficit. It only divides Americans rather than uniting us to find solutions to challenges facing our nation,” he said.

You’re so right, Michael! Why didn’t we think of that? It’s so obvious! Talking about race divides us, acting like a bunch of nutball racists unites us. Yay! All our problems are solved. Michael Steele for President!!

But first, he’s got to do something about that “tan” or whatever.

2 comments to Super Sleuth Jimmy Carter Suspects Some People (Joe Wilson?) Hate Obama Just For Being Black!

  • Anonymous

    Of course it's obvious…You totally miss the bigger picture by bashing arguably the most honest president America had this past century. It's precisely the fact that he has the pedigree and cache that makes his words carry the weight necessary to deliver this 'obvious' message. Remember, not everyone in America is rational or even quasi reasonable. Here we have a nuclear physicist who believes in evolution and god simultaneously and in these ass backward times, America can use use all the help she can get.

  • imissamerica

    Anonymous-
    I think you are missing my point here. It is not to bash Jimmy Carter (bless his peace-loving soul) but rather to draw attention to the sad fact that it takes a person of Jimmy Carter's stature to state what should be glaringly obvious. And the sad part is, after Jimmy made the comments he was forced to backtrack on his remarks for fear of a huge right-wing backlash (not to mention the White House distancing themselves from his comments). The joke of the matter is mind-blowingly ignorant people like Michael Steele accusing Carter of "injecting race" into the debate. Cause I forgot Carter and the Dems are the ones waving Confederate flags and questioning the origins of his birth, his religion, and whatever else they conjure up.

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