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Sarah Brings Main Street To The Mainland, Err Close Enough


And how did our lovely Alaskan doll do on her first ever trip to the magical land of Asia??
Did she dazzle the world’s leading investors who came from near and far to hear what infinite pearls of wisdom the foremost political and business minds on earth–minds like Sarah Barracuda Palin–had to say at this year’s CLSA Asia Pacific Markets Forum?

Before we say anything, let’s start with a big congratulations. We’re just excited
Sarah actually made it to Hong Kong without pulling the usual Sarah Palin-Meg Stapleton stunt of canceling last-minute and pretending to have never been invited in the first place. So kudos, Sarah, for passing the physical presence test with flying colors. That’s the good news!

The bad news is also that she actually showed up. So, was the $170,000 to $220,000 Alaskan princess’ speaking fee worth the price of one of her pre-RNC convention Wasilla-to-Minneapolis transformation shopping spree?

Hell yeah, if you like your speeches
long, humorless, George W. Bush-like and sounding unmistakably like a pitch for 2012.”

Described by some as “safe” and by others as “uncomfortable,” several audience members reportedly walked out of Ms Palin’s speech 30 minutes before the end, citing “more important things to do” or describing the talk as “too partisan and too much like a speech at the Republican convention.” Hey, their loss, right?

But those who stayed for all 80 painful minutes of the super-secret Sarah speech got to hear such coherent thoughts as USA! USA! USA! China, be good. China, cool it. Easy there, China. China’s awesome and gave us chopsticks, but should share the Asia better. Barack Obama BAD. America and China GOOD! And she didn’t even mention Facebook once! Maybe that’s why people were so upset??

Or was it the lack of opportunity to fire any questions at Ms. Palin during her very publicly hush-hush, off-limits to the media, yet carefully-crafted for a global television audience speech?

“You would think that with her team of speechwriters and a supposedly media-free environment Palin could have afforded to be either funny or thought-provoking, but she was neither,” one senior fund manager said.

“This was about an obviously ambitious wannabe presidential candidate laying down a marker on her weak spot of foreign policy,” another added. “I think we are going to hear something very similar to this speech trotted-out again in different places over the next months and years.”

Yeah!! But only if she promises to keep “calling it like she sees it and sharing with us candidly her view right from Main Street, Main Street USA!” And saying things like “Common sense tells you that when you’re in a hole, you have to stop digging.”

But answer me this, Sarah. If everyone did that, how would anyone ever get to China?

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