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President Obama Diagnoses Mitt Romney With "Romnesia," The Mysterious Disease That Causes Him To Forget His Own Positions

Dr. Barack H. Obama, MD has seen the symptoms – the backtracking & sidestepping, the flipping & flopping, the waffling and wavering – and is ready to diagnose rival Mitt Romney with what’s been ailing him.

Looks like Mr. “Severely Conservative” has a severe case of Romnesia, a condition he’s been suffering from all election season long.

Speaking to students at George Mason University in Virginia, President Obama warned about the dangers of the debilitating disease known as Romnesia, not to be confused with Mitt’s similarly symptomatic ailment, assholitis:

Now, I’m not a medical doctor but I do want to go over some of the symptoms with you because I want to make sure nobody else catches it.

If you say you’re for equal pay for equal work, but you keep refusing to say whether or not you’d sign a bill that protects equal pay for equal work – you might have Romnesia.

If you say women should have access to contraceptive care, but you support legislation that would let your employer deny you contraceptive care – you might have a case of Romnesia.

If you say you’ll protect a woman’s right to choose, but you stand up at a primary debate and said that you’d be “delighted” to sign a law outlawing that right to choose in all cases – man, you’ve definitely got Romnesia.

Now, this extends to other issues. If you say earlier in the year I’m going to give a tax cut to the top 1 percent and then in a debate you say, I don’t know anything about giving tax cuts to rich folks – you need to get a thermometer, take your temperature, because you’ve probably got Romnesia.

If you say that you’re a champion of the coal industry when while you were Governor you stood in front of a coal plant and said, this plant will kill you – that’s some Romnesia.

Oh no! But how does someone know if they too are suffering from Romnesia or are just a terrible person/pathological liar?

So – I think you’re beginning to be able to identify these symptoms. And if you come down with a case of Romnesia, and you can’t seem to remember the policies that are still on your website, or the promises you’ve made over the six years you’ve been running for President, here’s the good news: Obamacare covers pre-existing conditions. We can fix you up. We’ve got a cure.

More cowbell??

We can make you well, Virginia. This is a curable disease.

Unlike, say, being from Virginia. Or that other devastating illness afflicting Mitt, foot-and-mouth disease.

Which in his case is more like foot-in-mouth disease.

[video via DailyKos]

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