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Much Like Crack-Smoking Mayors, DC Decides Gay Marriage is A-Ok!


Sick and tired of getting screwed out of representation in Congress, the District of Columbia decided to stick it to the man the only way they know how: letting the gays get married. Yay!

The bill, approved 11-2 in the D.C. City Council, will now head (ha ha head) to Democratic Mayor Adrian M. Fenty who is expected to sign the legislation and basically destroy the sanctity of opposite sex marriage in the United States, in all its one man plus one woman plus ten Vegas showgirls and one Elvis Presley impersonator glory.

Barring any sudden appearances by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse or surprise moves by the Democratic-controlled House and Senate or President Obama to block the legislation within 30 legislative days, the homo bill will become hetero law this spring. Ooooh, just in time for the Azalea blossom!

But before you get too excited over Adam and Steve’s deviant plot to destroy America by promising to love each other ’til death do them part, fear not because I’m basically positive that one crazy congressman or another will make a furious attempt to thwart this wicked gay agenda in an attempt to score some brownie points with the enlightened folks who hold the key to their re-election back in the muddy swamplands they call home.

Like council member and former DC Mayor Marion Barry (D-Ward 8) who during the debate, said he could not support the bill, but acknowledged the legislative body was making history.

“This must be a proud day for you David, Mr. Graham,” Barry said, referring to the two openly gay council members, Jim Graham and David A. Catania.

“Just as it was a proud day for me when the voting rights bill was passed in 1965, the onetime civil rights leader explained. “But this is a democracy and I reserve the right to disagree.”

So while Mr. Marion Barry certainly understands the struggles of an oppressed minority, he simply CANNOT support equal rights for this particular oppressed minority.

Don’t blame him. Blame his morals!

Nothing against the gays or anything, it’s just his strong moral values cannot be reconciled with allowing two people with the same reproductive organs to come together in such unholy matrimony.

Now if you’ll excuse Mr. Marion Barry Jesus of Nazareth, he has some crack to smoke, taxes to evade, and ex-girlfriends to stalk.

None of which is his fault either, he’ll have you know. Everyone knows the damn “bitch set him up!”

Hmmm, sounds like something a lesbian might do.

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