Categories

Archives

It's All About The O: Michelle Obama Wins Election For Barack, Twitter For Herself

Oooooh yeah, that’s my girl. Look how sexy she looks in her hot rhubarb dress, talking ’bout how naturally awesome I am at this whole presidentin’ thing, letting all the ladies know why there’s only one man with the (basket)balls big enough to fill her the Oval Office, and give America what it really needs most.

Four more years of pure, uninterrupted O.

“Well, today, after so many struggles and triumphs and moments that have tested my husband in ways I never could have imagined, I have seen first hand that being president doesn’t change who you are — no, it reveals who you are.”

50 shades of grey(hair) waiting to happen?

“Success isn’t about how much money you make, it’s about the difference you make in people’s lives.”

Not to be confused with indifference, okay, Mitt?

Is it getting hot in here or is Michelle just warming up? Signature sculpted stiff arm smackdown of Mittens in 3,2,1…

“Barack knows the American dream because he’s lived it, and he wants everyone in this country, everyone to have that same opportunity, no matter who we are, or where we’re from, or what we look like, or who we love.”

Even chocolatey-skinned anti-colonial Socialists from the radical nation of Blackistan?

But even more important than capturing the hearts and minds of the people is capturing the most mentions on Twitter. #firstladyoftwitterswag

Michelle’s Twindex, a measure of favorability on Twitter, rose from 71 before her speech to 84 after. Romney’s wife Ann’s Twindex increased more dramatically after her own speech in Tampa, from 45 to 83.

The first lady didn’t just beat Romney; she beat her husband’s 2012 State of the Union address, which peaked at 14,131 TPM.

Eat it Ann! Michelle is President of the Tweets, and Romney will always be President of the Twats.

Speaking of…

Michelle offered appeal “not just as first lady and not just as a wife,” but as “mom-in-chief,” which is still “my most important title.”

“I know from experience that if I truly want to leave a better world for my daughters, and all of our sons and daughters; and if we want to give all our children a foundation for their dreams and opportunities worthy of their promise; if we want to give them that sense of limitless possibility – that belief that here in America, there is always something better out there if you’re willing to work for it, then we must work like never before,” she said, applause building in the hall as she spoke.

“And we must once again come together and stand together for the man we can trust to keep moving this great country forward my husband, our president, President Barack Obama,” the crowd breaking out into roaring cheers.

And that my friends is how to FLOTUS his POTUS.

#Winning

[image via White House]

Leave a Reply

 

 

 

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>