Whether he’s touting his foreign policy skills by grunting nonsense syllables like “Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan” or rescuing the nation’s economy by changing from the gold standard of coins to the Godfather standard of pepperoni slices, and installing the wacko, fictional tax plan he stole from SimCity 4 that repeats the arbitrary number “9” three times while taxing the shit out of poor people, Herman Cain is full of brilliant ideas.
Kip Katsarelis, a senior producer for Maxis, the company that created the SimCity series, was excited that politicians may be looking to video games for ideas.
Adopting such a simple tax structure, Katsarelis said, would allow fantasy political leaders to focus their energy on infrastructure and national security. “Our game design team thought that an easy to understand taxation system would allow players to focus on building their cities and have fun thwarting giant lizard attacks, rather than be buried by overly complex financial systems.”
Of course! But what if those giant lizard attacks were more like scared, border-jumping Mexicans looking for a better life? Then what would Herman Cain do?
Why, just fry the illegal alien bastards to death with an electrified border fence. Easy peasy!
“It’s going to be 20 feet high. It’s going to have barbed wire on the top. It’s going to be electrified. And there’s going to be a sign on the other side saying, ‘It will kill you — Warning.’”
Oooh, sounds sexy! Charred Mexicans hanging over the entrance is a beautiful way to decorate America’s borders! A “Teabagger Tapestry,” if you will.
But what if, for some reason, this miraculous deterrent still doesn’t keep them away?
Can you say 2nd Amendment remedies, what what!?
From the New York Times:
The [border wall] remarks, which came at two campaign rallies in Tennessee as part of a barnstorming bus tour across the state, drew loud cheers from crowds of several hundred people at each rally. At the second stop, in Harriman, Tenn., Mr. Cain added that he also would consider using military troops “with real guns and real bullets” on the border to stop illegal immigration.
As a special bonus, Herman Cain’s solution to securing our borders also doubles as his latest, greatest Godfather pizza topping sensation: Refried Mexican Beans!
[image via Every Joe]