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Eric Cantor: Putting The Can't In Helping Tornado Victims Or Anyone Not Named Eric Cantor

House majority leader and sniveling greed monster Eric Cantor (Republican-Hell) never met a natural disaster victim he didn’t feel complete indifference towards or emergency relief budget he didn’t want to slash into tiny bits and pieces, sort of like the town of Joplin, Missouri where raging tornadoes and violent storms killed at least 122 people, reduced buildings to dust and decimated much of the city. Just like God intended!

Good thing young gun Eric Cantor knows the government can’t just go around helping desperate, suffering people every time some crazy F-5 tornado strikes some small town or another in the middle of the country, killing scores of men, women, and children, and will do all he can to stop police, firefighters, and emergency medical workers from pulling victims out from under rubble because saving lives costs money. Precious money that Uncle Sam simply does NOT have, probably because it’s already all gone to oil subsidies and paying Cantor’s Very Important Congress Person’s hefty salary and primo benefits.

Priorities, people!

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor said Monday that if Congress passes an emergency spending bill to help Missouri’s tornado victims, the extra money will have to be cut from somewhere else.

But which Socialist government program the Republicans hate (all of them?) should get de-funded first?

Let’s see, does it include the words defense and/or security and involve authorizing hundreds of billions of dollars to fight bloody wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and anywhere else there are endless supplies of Muslims, oil pipelines, and misplaced 9/11 hysteria? Because, so long as it is not providing medical care for the 9/11 emergency workers or helping the victim’s families or anything wasteful and unnecessary like that, rest assured, it’s a helluva lot safer than some hapless tornado victim schlub in Joplin.

Which is more than can be said for Eric Cantor’s reelection chances.

Besides, everyone knows, them Joplin folks will just waste all that money on food and shelter anyway.

Perhaps a better idea would be to just drop a house on him instead.

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