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Crazy New Maine Governor Paul LePage Declares War On Labor...In The Form Of Historic Art Murals In The State Capital

It is no secret that several Republican governors, like that one Kochsucker in Wisconsin, have waged an all-out, no holds-barred, full-frontal assault on those no-good workers’ unions and their terrible, ungodly right to collectively bargain fair wages and safe working conditions so they don’t end up dying both penniless and limbless, since everyone knows it’s probably cheaper to leave a few bloody digits here and there, than risk delaying production of the shiny, gleaming new 60 inch 3D LCD flatscreen HDTV 1080 dpi, with built-in state-of-the-art surround sound.

Priorities, people!

Not that those greedy teachers and assembly line workers could possibly understand that with their fancy shmancy 1992 Subaru Outbacks, worn out overalls, and seemingly never supply of bright, thick highlighters and sleek bic pens.

Guess for some people, the sky’s the limit!

Good thing there’s still one person who understands the stakes and will not stop, will not so much as rest, until every last lazy budget-busting union worker, school teacher, police officer, and sanitation worker is crushed, squashed, wiped from existence, and otherwise brought completely to their likely arthritic knees in the new, noble, holy GOP-helmed War on the Working Class.

Because for the new Teabagging governor of Maine, Paul LePage, a new front has just been opened in the war, and now it’s not just labor unions in his crosshairs, but labor art too!

This ain’t your grandma’s class warfare!

You see, Paul LePage is understandably so disgusted by a “36-foot mural depicting the state’s labor history” in the lobby of Maine’s Department of Labor that he’s ordered its removal, which will hopefully be followed by the prompt removal of all other undesirables, like Muslims, gays, Mexicans, and all other hapless schmucks who tasted the sweet nectar of freedom and somehow still landed in Maine. Maine!

Oh, and you know those conference rooms named after famous pro-labor icons like Cesar Chavez and the first female U.S. Cabinet secretary, FDR-era Labor Secretary Francis Perkins?? Those need to go too. Too worker-y!

Of course, the problem isn’t that the mural and conference rooms disturbed the delicate aesthetic sensibilities, or even the sophisticated artistic integrity of the average Maine citizens, but rather that some businesspeople started bitching, which as you know always requires immediate action.

This is America after all!

“We have received feedback that the administration building is not perceived as equally receptive to both businesses and workers — primarily because of the nature of the mural in the lobby and the names of our conference rooms,” Maine Department of Labor Acting Commissioner Laura Boyett wrote in an e-mail.

“Whether or not the perception is valid is not really at issue and therefore, not open to debate. If either of our two constituencies perceives that they are not welcome in our administration building and this translates to a belief that their needs will not be heard or met by this department, then it presents a barrier to achieving our mission.”

No poors allowed!

On the other hand, all the hot shot business owners and big wigs need to do is snap their fingers and voila! no more unsightly Socialist beggar mural!

Hmmm, the workers would probably do the same thing, if their fingers were still attached to their hands not stuck in a boiling vat of Maine’s famous lobster clam bisque.

Gov. LePage’s Press Secretary Adrienne Bennett said the governor’s office is exploring alternative places to keep the mural, perhaps in the state museum, and believes they can move it without damaging the artwork.

“We’re not going to put an ‘Open for Business’ sign in the lobby either,” she said when asked what would replace the painting. “It’s going to be neutral.”

I mean they’re not dirty whores, here!

“When you walk into our Department of Labor lobby, you see this mural, which is on several walls,” Bennett said. “There’s no getting around it. You see it, and it’s there. The administration feels it’s inappropriate for a taxpayer-funded agency to appear to be on one side or another. Clearly, the mural depicts one side. … We’ve got to make sure, as a Department and as a state government, we’re representing all Maine people.”

Or at least those who went ahead and actually made something of themselves, getting filthy rich off the misfortunes of others, not frittering away their lives teaching your bratty kid English.

“The message from state agencies needs to be balanced,” Bennett said, adding that that the rooms could instead be named “after mountains, counties or something.”

Or maybe something really beautiful and inspiring like say Bernie Madoff’s Golden Pyramid scheme atop a scintillating sea of luxurious shiny black BP-oil soaked bird and fish carcasses, with a breathtaking cascade of acid rain, Glenn Beck’s gold plated coins, and poor people’s tears trickling down on the miserable mass of weeping orphans, starving children, and the now-distant memories of Maine’s once thriving, now threatened working class.

“No matter what you name a room, no matter how many pictures you take down, the truth is that this state was built by and for working people and this move dishonors the generations of hard-working Mainers who came before us,” Maine AFL-CIO President Don Berry said. “Paul LePage cannot erase our history, and he will not silence the voice of the working class in Maine.”

Don’t be silly. With all the greedy teachers gone, there’s no one to teach the poor schlubs how to speak anyway.

But how does a nice, pretty picture sound instead?

1 comment to Crazy New Maine Governor Paul LePage Declares War On Labor…In The Form Of Historic Art Murals In The State Capital

  • I truly find this a interesting subject. Never looked over this subject in this manner. If you are planning to write more articles relating to this subject, I will be back in the near future!

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