Bigoted Heroes Across Roadside America Demand Hitler's Evil Twin Barack Obama Promptly Resign Or Immediately Start Bashing Muslims

I don’t know about you, but the first thing I think of when I hear the name Barack Hussein Obama is, without doubt, Nazi Führer Adolf Hitler right down the angry li’l Hitler mustache painted above his upper lip

For starters, “Barack” does sound sort of German, particularly if you’ve never heard a single German word in your entire life, and the two are like identical twins in every possible way.

Both were failed art students/successful law professors, masterminded the mass extermination of an entire race/masterminded accessible health care for an entire nation, both are Christian, have dark hair, human parents, good oratory skills, require food and air, and of course share a deep love for all discriminated minorities, particularly milk-white Aryans/muddled brown Muslims.

The similarities are endless!

Let’s not forgot, both Hitler and Obama are responsible for high crimes and misdemeanors, with high crimes naturally being the same thing as “signed legislation passed by Congress that I don’t like,” and misdemeanors being secret code for “not saying & doing stupid things all the time like our last Grand Old President.”

Of course, this latest Obama-Is-A-Nazi-Muslim-Terrorist-Who-Hates-America hysteria all started when Ayatollah Obama made it clear that he doesn’t even believe the First Amendment’s protection of religious freedom can be suspended or altered whenever Fox News and/or teabag-waving wingnuts demand it for whatever dumb reason they decide this time.

This bastard actually thinks that the First Amendment means even the most terrible religions like gross Islam should be afforded all the same protections as other beautiful, pure religions like Christianity, and to a lesser extent, even Judaism, which is obviously a few notches below.

Yes, Hitler NObama over here thinks it’s just fine if Muslims want to build a mosque four blocks away from the hallowed site of an abandoned hole in the Earth known as “Ground Zero” because of lame constitutional “rights” or whatever, so now instead of something sacred and pure like a Burlington Coat Factory, or the various strip clubs, peep shows, off-track betting sites, and nudie bars already dotting the area, America, more specifically, lower Manhattan-venturing Americans will have to endure the pain and suffering of having to look at a horrifying Muslim house of worship and community center during their rush-hour commute to the closest AMERICAN Starbucks.

Good thing some people understand America’s centuries-old freedom of religion cannot stand! Too many innocent people were murdered on that fateful, tragic 11th day in September, 2001 to ever continue abiding by the protections laid out in our 219-year-old founding document and basis of the very freedom and democracy this country prides itself on!

To really show the terrorists who’s boss, we better abandon the constitutional promise of equality and freedom from oppression, and make America more like Obama’s beloved Nazi Germany with a beautiful patchwork quilt of American hate-diversity, courtesy of the brilliant minds of current Grand Old Party leaders, and other anti-Mosque building, Muslim-hatin’ freedom fighters.

These steadfast patriots of hate and bigotry understand that their reliable ol’ standby of simple queer-bashing just ain’t what it used to be, and since you can no longer win elections on anti gay-marriage sentiments alone, hatred, like everything else, too must evolve with the times.

Nobody cares about gay marriages now, but we still have to hate something or somebody or else it’s just not America, or at least not Newt’s America.

And who better to hate than all Muslims everywhere because everyone knows anyone who prays to Allah is a secret terrorist waiting to blow themselves up in the middle of Times Square en route to a wild, all-night sexcapade with 72 virgins in the sweet hereafter of blissful Muslim martyrdom.

“You know, Nazis don’t have the right to put up a sign next to the Holocaust Museum in Washington. We would never accept the Japanese putting up a site next to Pearl Harbor. There’s no reason for us to accept a mosque next to the World Trade Center,” Newt Gingrich told Fox News.

Yes, we would never accept a Japanese monument at Pearl Harbor, save for that one Shinto Shrine less than 5 miles from the resting place of the USS Arizona, and all the various Japanese community centers contaminating Honolulu…

But seriously, ugh! I mean why should we have to accept all these inferior, non-Christian heathens building their terrorist temples within our beautiful borders, from sea-to-shining-sea.

If only we lived in Nazi Germany instead of terrible, mosque-building, free America! Then we wouldn’t have to deal with silly things like “free speech.” **Shudder!**

And then maybe we wouldn’t have to live under a despotic president who actually governs based on principles, not fear-based, hate-fueled, cheap, misguided political whims of those desperate for power.

Just look at what Adolf Obama said at Friday’s White House dinner honoring the evil Muslimy fasting holiday Ramadan:

Recently, attention has been focused on the construction of mosques in certain communities – particularly in New York. Now, we must all recognize and respect the sensitivities surrounding the development of lower Manhattan. The 9/11 attacks were a deeply traumatic event for our country. The pain and suffering experienced by those who lost loved ones is unimaginable. So I understand the emotions that this issue engenders. Ground Zero is, indeed, hallowed ground. But let me be clear: as a citizen, and as President, I believe that Muslims have the same right to practice their religion as anyone else in this country. That includes the right to build a place of worship and a community center on private property in lower Manhattan, in accordance with local laws and ordinances. This is America, and our commitment to religious freedom must be unshakeable. The principle that people of all faiths are welcome in this country, and will not be treated differently by their government, is essential to who we are. The writ of our Founders must endure.

OMG, this guy couldn’t be any more like Hitler if he tried. They’re practically indistinguishable from each other right down to their mutual love of constitutional protections, freedom, lederhosen and the Muslim community (wait, or was it Aryan?). Whatever, as long as it isn’t those pesky Jews. Hey, anything’s better than those greedy Torah-huggers, right??

And as if any more proof was needed that U.S. President Barack Obama and Third Reich psychopath Adolf Hitler are one-and-the-same, right down to the signature ‘stash Teabaggers have taken upon themselves to draw on various Barry portraits appearing in neighborly demonstrations of communal bigotry in small, white towns across America, consider this little indisputable piece of evidence:

Basketball–Obama’s #1 favoritest sport–was introduced into the Olympics in 1936. And do you know who hosted the 1936 Olympic Games?? ADOLF HITLER, that’s who!! But, that’s not even the half of it, mwhahahahaha!

Take the word “basketball,” remove the “t,” toss out the “ball” and what do you have?? BASKE, which is like almost the same thing as, and practically indistinguishable from MOSQUE.

Now, other than a birth certificate (or certificate of live birth) with the Führer’s signature on the dotted paternal line, does a person really need any more proof than this?

Awwww, HEIL no!