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Al Gore Spars With Newt Gingrich, GOP Over Earth’s Right To Exist

Former vice president turned environmental warrior Al Gore is on a mission to make up for blowing the 2000 elections by single-handedly saving the planet from certain smog-filled doom.

Not content just sitting at home, polishing his Nobel Prize medal and Academy Award statuette with Tipper, Al took his climate change busting butt straight to Congress, where his dire warnings could get lost in a muddled haze of partisan squawking and Republican tomfoolery.

Gore, who called the bill “one of the most important pieces of legislation ever introduced,” urged Congress to rise to the challenge and meet the climate crisis head-on.

“I wish I could find the words to get past the partisan divide that both sides have contributed to…It shouldn’t be partisan. It should be something we do together in our national interest.”
Not if former House Speaker and frontrunner for worst-named named legislator, Newt Gingrich, R-Ga., has anything to say about it.

Apparently, Newton “Newt” Leroy Gingrich has decided to come out of retirement after his brave Clinton-bashing years opposing any and all legislative policies and executive blow jobs as Republican Speaker of the House.

But he still remembers all the old tricks.

Like how the Democratic proposal to reduce greenhouse gases is a ploy designed to hurt the American people.

“This bill is an energy tax. An energy tax punishes senior citizens, it punishes rural Americans, if you use electricity it punishes you. This bill will increase your cost of living and may kill your job.”

But hey, at least your grandchildren will still have a planet.

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