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NJ Governor Chris Christie Won't Say If He Believes In Evolution, But Admits His Deep Belief In Second Helpings

New Jersey Governor of Sandwiches, Chris (yes, I have the same name twice) Christie was either in a terrible mood, terribly hungry, or terribly confused when he mistook a reporter for a patty melt, because he practically bit her head off for asking a simple, innocent question, if he believes in evolution or the […]

New Alabama Governor Wants To Know Who's Your Daddy? (Hint: If It Doesn't Rhyme With Reese's, You're A Bastard No One Loves!)

Governor-elect of everyone’s favorite backwater blemish on the nation Alabama (where else?) Robert Bentley decided to honor Martin Luther King Jr. Day by giving a speech at the very Dexter Avenue King Memorial Baptist Church where the late civil rights leader Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. was once pastor himself!

Oooh, how beautiful! How […]

Crazy, Racist Homophobic Tea Monster Carl Paladino Is Sorry For Offending Everyone With A Pulse, Even Freak Gays Or Weirdos Who Don't Enjoy Animal/Human Porn

Notorious New York hell monster Carl Paladino enjoys indulging in a few of life’s simpler pleasures: sending mindblowingly offensive, racist emails about Barry NObama (lol, negro president!), hot girl-on-horse porno videos, beating up no-good, prying reporters askin’ too many questions (maybe after he’s governor, he’ll answer your stinkin’ questions!), and saying whatever terrible, vulgar, repulsive […]

You Know What They Say About GOP Candidates Who Use Big Fonts To Fake A Jobs Plan...

Let’s say you’re a Republican candidate somewhere in America, like say, maybe Wisconsin, for instance, and  unemployment is rampant because the actual ‘middle class’ heart of our economy has died, forever, plus you stand for “small government” or whatever, so you can’t actually propose anything, but you still need to talk about jobs because in […]

Hooray! America's Best Governor (After Sarah Palin) Can Continue Helping The People...Bankrupt Their State From The Comfort Of Home!

Charming ex-Illinois crime boss, popular reality-show contestant, and world famous hair-stylist extraordinaire Rod Blagojevich has been found guilty on only one of the 24 charges against him, the lamest possible one, making a false statement or representation to the FBI (like who hasn’t?), with the (braindead?) jury deadlocked on the other 23 counts.

So, […]

Like Mother, Like Son: Meg Whitman’s Offspring Also Under Fire For Beating Up A Girl, Hooray!

Billionaire ex-eBay CEO Meg Whitman, who for some reason spent $71 million of her own vast fortune to win the GOP primary for the utterly unwanted job of California Governor, is naturally “qualified” for the position because of her very important work selling assorted crap to the world via the Internets for a while.

But […]

The Freakin' Awesome Corruption Trial Of Hot Rod Blagojevich, In 140 Golden Words Or Less!

It’s been 18 loooong months since insane lego-haired criminal ex-governor of Illinois, Hot Rod Blagojevich, was busted for being the actual insane lego-haired criminal governor and, boy is Blago ready to get back in the ol’ spotlight to finally show the good people of IL-na-na, no make that the world, how a sweet, […]