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Like Everything Else About His Existence, Donald Trump's Birth Certificate Isn't Real Either

Obscenely rich, obscenely obnoxious, pretend presidential candidate Donald Trump is always looking for cool, exciting new gimmicks to help keep his fake presidential run in the news and fresh in people’s mind, right next to Charlie Sheen’s latest win (an eight ball?) and Chris Brown’s cock shots.

Like when the Donald decided to take some time […]

Teabagger Dude's Got 99 Problems, But A Brain Ain't One!

As you probably already know, the state of the nation can be accurately assessed by reading the fine print between the lines of America’s most trusted, new journalist, the old, rusted-out, 1970s Toyota camper parked outside a local Burger King.

And on this great, new canvas of freedom comes all the poetic brilliance and artful expression […]

Crazy New Maine Governor Paul LePage Declares War On Labor...In The Form Of Historic Art Murals In The State Capital

It is no secret that several Republican governors, like that one Kochsucker in Wisconsin, have waged an all-out, no holds-barred, full-frontal assault on those no-good workers’ unions and their terrible, ungodly right to collectively bargain fair wages and safe working conditions so they don’t end up dying both penniless and limbless, since everyone knows it’s […]

The Daily Caller Hires Ginni Thomas In The Hopes That She'll Stop Calling Women To Demand Apologies For Being Sexually Harassed By Her Husband

Ginni Thomas, the loyal lobbyist Teabagging wife of Supremely silent and Supremely sexy Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, has taken the next step in her professional journey of weird, quasi-legal, likely immoral influence-peddling conservative jobs, most recently accepting the not-at-all interest conflicting “special correspondent” position at the appropriately special needs wingnut website, The Daily Caller.

Hooray?

That’s […]

The State Of The Nation Is...A Bunch Of Angry White People Shrieking At Muslim Kids Going To A Charity Event For Battered Women & Homeless People

Here in America, there are some otherwise seemingly normal people who, upon, hearing the word Muslim, or seeing an actual woman wearing a burqa, suddenly morph into shrieking mindless mobs of ignorant, intolerant bigoted red, white, ‘n blue wretches who just can’t help but hurl racist, vile things (preferably through a megaphone) at innocent young […]

Runaway Wisconsin Dems On The Lam In Illinois To Escape Crazy Gov. Scott Walker's Big, Bad, Bust-Up Unions Bill

Screw the Middle East, bro, have you seen the crazy shit that’s goin’ down in the Middle West?

All 14 of Wisconsin’s Democratic Senators have fled the state (9-month long winters and this is what it took?) to prevent union-busting, budget-crazed Republicans from voting stripping public employees of their longstanding collective bargaining rights, and basically transforming […]

Hooray! Ron Paul Wins CPAC Straw Poll For The Chance To Be President...Of Losing To Obama

Woohoo, wingnut America!

After three days of endless shrieking and shouting about the bountiful beauty of trickle down economics (make it rain, Ronnie Reagan, make it rain!), the unspeakable evils of a woman having rights over her own dumb, slutty body, and, of course, the insufferable Donald Trump going on and on about how much richer […]

Second Is The Best! Latest, Greatest Legal Mind Cites Tea Party In Saving America From The Socialist Tyranny Of Affordable Health Care

Rejoice obese, saturated fat-clogged ‘mericans ridin’ around on socialized Medicare scooters, waving red, white, and blue flags for the freedom to patriotically die and/or go bankrupt trying to pay for li’l Johnny’s bone marrow transplants.

Victory is yours! Errr, kind of.

Thanks to the latest, greatest, most likely racist old white judge in the confederacy land Roger […]

House Republicans' New Bill Offers Variety Of Helpful Hints On Proper (Federally Funded!) Ways To Be Raped

Ah, Republicans. The kind of wonderful, caring, Constitution-loving individuals who know that when life hands you lemons, say, by getting incestuously raped and impregnated by your drunkard father, Jesus wants you to make lemon meringue pie in the form of Sharron Angle’s special, secret homemade recipe for coping with unspeakable tragedy (psst: it’s called insanity!).

But […]

Sarah Palin Celebrates Martin Luther King Day By Honoring The Closest Thing, Herself!

The long-lost, kindred spirit of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Dr. Sarah Louise Palin, Jr. Varsity Basketball Captain of Wasilla High, is just positive the good Dr. King would be sooooooo very proud of her (and her KKK rally!) for fulfilling his hard-fought vision of true justice and equality for all (white Christian males) on […]