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Democrats Put Marriage Equality Where Their Mouth Is While Republicans Slurp Secret Sauce & Pound Patties To Prove Deep-Fried Discrimination Is Finger-Lickin' Good

Increasingly irrelevant Sarah Palin’s increasingly desperate grifter tour quest for attention included a quick stop at a Texas Chick-fil-A to “support a great business”, munch on a deliciously diabetic, deep-fried chicken sandwich, and of course, to tell the terrible homosexuals “I hate you,” without saying, “homosexuals, I hate you.”

Ah yes, the perfect fast food for […]

Mitt Romney Wins The Gold In The Olympic Sport Of Insulting Entire Kingdoms

With Willard “Mittens” Romney having trouble connecting to the riff-raff and vagabonds not retroactively raking in nine-figure salaries here in America, his advisors figured why not let ol’ Mitt try his perfectly manicured, white-gloved hand with the fine blokes across the pond, in the one and only land of Mary Poppins and mincemeat, wee Londontowne.

Naturally, […]

What The Cluck, Huck? Mike Huckabee Gets Behind Chick-Fil-A's Anti-Gay CEO (But Not In A Gay Way)

If there’s one person who appreciates a fast food company that sticks to their butter-slathered buns when it comes to discrimination, it is former/current fat person Mike Huckabee.

It’s not just the delectably breaded, pickle-topped, fried chicken(ish) sandwiches or those deliciously greasy, salty waffle fries that’s got Huckabee Huckahooked, but the delectably batsh*t, homophobic ramblings of […]

Mitt Romney Is Too Busy Horsing Around To Bother With The Whole "Tax Return" Thing

Poor, misunderstood, possibly criminal Mittens! He and his dancing horse have hit a bit of a rough patch, and all the hoof-clicking and fancy four-legged prancing in the world (of horse ballet) may not be enough to keep this Mormon Stallion perched comfortably atop his High Horse.

Because, you see, Willard “Mitt” Romney may […]

Florida Republican Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll Couldn't Possibly Be A Lesbian Because She's Not Ugly, Single, Or Dressed In Cargo Pants & Flannel

It’s getting steamy in the Sunshine state—and it’s not just the rising mercury levels getting the good citizens all hot ‘n bothered.

No ma’am! (Or, in this case, more like wham bam thank you ma’am!).

Because the only thing sexier than a closeted Republican getting caught with his pants down is a closeted Republican getting […]

Rick Perry Denies Medical Coverage For Millions Of Texans, Bringing New Meaning To The Words "Texas Toast"

Coyote-and-criminal-killing governor of drunken idiocy Texas, Rick Perry, is not about to stand back and watch while his fellow wingnut governors from equally awful, deadbeat states steal all his thunder by rejecting the big, bad gubmint’s evil plans to expand Medicaid and help insure millions of Texans without access to medical coverage.

Aww, hell no! You […]

Texas GOP Bans 'Critical Thinking' In Schools Because Knowledge Is For Godless Commies & Queer Democrats (AKA All Non-Texas Residents)

Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the huge, swinging cojones of the Grand Old Party in Grand Old Texas.

Hell, just look at their latest, greatest platform outlining the GOP’s brilliant (by Texas standards, retarded to everyone else) policies for 2012. Wait, or was it 1220? I can never remember!

Middle Aged men, the Middle Ages, is there […]

Joe The Plumber Clogs America's Airwaves With A Big Load Blaming Gun Control For The Holocaust

Samuel “Joe The Plumber” Wurzelbacher may not be a plumber or even named Joe, but he’s not about to let silly things like facts or reality get in the way of his latest, greatest venture as the single most brilliant scholar to ever represent Ohio’s 9th District in the U.S. Congress (fingers crossed!).

And […]

Shitty Montana GOP Convention Ironically Features Fake Bullet-Ridden "Obama Library" Porta-Potty, Parades Of People With Shit-For-Brains

HAW HAW HAW! The good citizens comedians of Missoula know the only thing “funnier” (in a tragic Montana sort of way) than having a black illegal secret Muslim Socialist from Kenya as President are hilarious pre-school level poo poo and pee pee jokes about him.

At Saturday’s Republican Party convention in Missoula, Montana, a few convention-goers […]

Utah's GOP Chair's Awful, Illiterate Wife Reminds The Nation Why You Should Never Let A Gay On The Ballot Or Get An Education In Utah

Fred Karger, you know, the openly gay Republican who is still “running” for president (adorable, right?) even though everyone knows the only gay Republicans who exist are the secret, self-hating, hiding-in-Marcus-Bachmann’s-closet kind.

Well, apparantly Fred didn’t get the memo that his Grand Old Party of bigots and hypocrites don’t much care for him or the rest […]