YES, WE DID!! YES, WE DID!!
Congratulations America, you’ve made us proud. Except for maybe a few fleeting moments of terror, we never even really doubted you that much.
In the words of your historic new President-Elect, Barack Obama, I guess you could say, we were well hopeful.
We always kind of thought you would stop acting like a bunch of raging imbeciles and finally act like the America we love so much.
The America that is only hated by the same few kooks who always hate us no matter what, and not by every nation across the globe, including some of our closest friends, for reasons that, well, make us hate us too.
But we apparently got sick of acting like a bunch of a**holes for the last couple of years.
So, congratulations to you America!! You have earned it.
Instead of disappointing yourselves and the rest of humanity by voting for that other guy, you have taken a major step forward in reclaiming your rightful place as the coolest country on the block.
You have refused to let fear and ignorance dictate your life and instead have decided to embrace the true character of America, whose diversity, unity, and strength merge together to create a place where anything is possible.
Yes, the American Dream is alive and well, my friends. His name is Barack Hussein Obama, but you can just call him President.
