ARRRRRGGGHHHHH! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!
As if crazed crypt keeper/Libertarian Jesus Ron Paul and his fantasy vision of a post-apocalyptic American wasteland of small government and even smaller minds wasn’t scary enough (umm, need I mention Rand?), the man who makes John McCain look young and stable by comparison went out and found himself the perfect foil to his own feeble, decrepit self: a real live freaking giant!
The preferred wingnut accompaniment to any second place victory speech, New Hampshire or elsewhere! Plus, what better way to return to the glorious gold standard and roving bands of toothless, heavily armed cannibals that is Ron Paul’s America than your own personal workhorse, extra large enforcer, skilled beanstalk climber, portable chair lift, and ready-made meal, in case of emergency, like say a Ron Paul presidency. Cause you know it’s not just muscle on those jumbo size bones!
So hooray for Ron Paul, who is either running for President of the United States or embarking on an epic journey to destroy a magic ring by throwing it in a volcano where it was forged.
Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum! Libs and poors are the worst kind of scum!
That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind for Ron Paul. See, anything really is possible! Except a Ron Paul victory, or, apparently, a Ron Paul supporter with normal human characteristics, be it limb size or empathy.
Ron Paul/Fezzik 2012!
[images via Buzz Feed]