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The Doctor Is In...Sane? Denial? Hysterics?


Lunatic witch doctor Jack Cassell of Mount Dora, Florida (that’s right, Dora) is so convinced it’s only a matter of time before President Obama’s apocalyptic health care reform will be used by our sadistic Democratic government to deny medical care to fellow, God-fearing Republicans, that he has decided to turn the tables (in his mind) and preemptively discriminate against Democrats first. Boo-ya!

“I’m not turning anybody away — that would be unethical,” Dr. Jack Cassell, 56, a Mount Dora urologist and a registered Republican opposed to the health plan, told the Orlando Sentinel. “But if they read the sign and turn the other way, so be it.”

The sign reads: “If you voted for Obama…seek urologic care elsewhere. Changes to your healthcare begin right now, not in four years.”

Awww, snap!! Hear that, DEMONcrats? Maybe next time it stings like the dickens every time you attempt to relieve yourself, you’ll think twice about voting for an illegal, half-black Kenyan Socialist who desperately wants to murder Granny and baby Trig as the new Redistributionist-in-Chief of these United States.

How you like them apples?

But just in case his “No Obama fans allowed” sign doesn’t keep the riff-raff and undesirables away, Dr. Cassell has so generously provided his patients with photocopies of a health-care timeline produced by Republican leaders (so you know it’s accurate) outlining “major provisions” in the health-care package. (Like how long you have to wait before Grandma is officially “shovel ready” for the home-made grave in the backyard).

The sign above the stack of copies reads: “This is what the morons in Washington have done to your health care. Take one, read it and vote out anyone who voted for it.”

On the bright side, we’re just happy at least one Republican knows how to actually spell the word “moron” correctly.

Outspoken Florida Democrat and Godless Obama supporter, Rep. Alan Grayson said he was “disgusted” by the “ridiculous” sign.

“Maybe he thinks the Hippocratic Oath says, ‘Do no good’,” Grayson said. “If this is the face of the right wing in America, it’s the face of cruelty…Why don’t they change the name of the Republican Party to the Sore Loser Party?”

Why would they do something crazy like that when everyone knows they’re going to clean up come November when they take back health care on their way to taking back the House, the Senate, and their brains, which apparently have been hibernating ever since that awkward old man unleashed that sexy Arctic fox who doesn’t speak so good but sure’s got one helluva fine ass wink. Oh, you betcha!

“If I was one of his patients, I would not walk away, I’d run,” said Patsy Robertson, 73, a Democrat and retired nurse. “He does not need to be taking care of people’s lives if that’s his mentality.”

Damn right! He should be with the rest of the Grand Old Party obstructing things in Washington where he belongs!

Cassell’s former medical partner, urologist Dr. James Young, a self-described liberal Democrat, said a patient’s politics should be no more important to a doctor than his favorite baseball team.

“It’d be like me saying I’m not going to treat a Cubs fan,” said Young, a lifelong fan of the St. Louis Cardinals. “There are a number of thoughtful doctors who feel like Jack and probably a like number who feel the exact opposite, but they’re not going to put a sign on their door. As doctors, our chief concern should always be what’s best for the patient.”

Or your bank account. Either one, really.

“I think he’s saying, ‘If you voted for Obama, you made a decision and that decision has consequences,'” said retired neurologist Dr. William Crowley, who praised the doctor for provoking a discussion.

Because any urologist dumb enough to vote for the McCain/Palin ticket, err trainwreck, and also dumb enough to believe the “bill wants you to die sooner,” is certainly good enough to cut the wrong tube during my operation!

Margaret Taormino, a 72-year-old retired social worker, expressed a common sentiment about Dr. Jack Cassell.

“My husband and I don’t need a urologist,” she said, “but if we ever do, he’s our guy.”

Guess some people just don’t know Jack!

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