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The Dirty Dozen: Bart Stupak’s Life-Loving Dreams Murdered By Life-Hating Democrats


Democratic hell Representative and fearless defender of unborn fetuses in fertile wombs across America, Rep. Bart Stupak (D-Mich.) is suddenly feeling even smaller than the li’l bundles of prenatal joy he tries his very hardest to protect.

After playing a starring role in aborting the Democrats’ health care bill over federal funding of the societal cancer known as a woman’s right to choose, Bart Stupak of Michigan is feeling a wee bit “left out” now that his fellow DEMONcrats have decided to forge ahead without his enlightened views relating to the ovary-filled, emotional descendants of Eve.

“They’re ignoring me,” Stupak told National Review Online while sitting alone and depressed in a corner. “That’s their strategy now. The House Democratic leaders think they have the votes to pass the Senate’s health-care bill without us. At this point, there is no doubt that they’ve been able to peel off one or two of my twelve. And even if they don’t have the votes, it’s been made clear to us that they won’t insert our language on the abortion issue.”

And by “us” Bart Stupak of course is referring to the lovable “Stupak dozen,” the twelve anti-abortion Democrats in the House, some of whom are now abandoning the sinking Republican ship of “no,” to hop aboard the good ship Democrat and vote “yes” instead. Good-for-nothin’ traitors!

Luckily, Stupendous Mr. Stupak is not budging. No sir-ee! Not one single dilated inch.

While Nazi Pelosi and other Democrats like that Bully Barry may have been successful in convincing “one or two” of his dirty dozen to vote for the sinful bill, Stupak insists, “I am a definite ‘no’ vote. I didn’t cave. The others are having both of their arms twisted and we’re all getting pounded by our traditional Democratic supporters, like unions.”

Ummm, word of advice, Bart. Try to avoid using the word pounding unless your name is Emeril Lagasse or you don’t mind sounding like a total gaylord.

But either way, Stupak and Co.’s hijacking of the health bill has hit somewhat of a snag in recent days, with House Democrats unwilling to kill the bill over Stupak’s 12-man right-to-life wrecking crew.

“I really believe that the Democratic leadership is simply unwilling to change its stance,” he said.

“Their position says that women, especially those without means available, should have their abortions covered,” adding that their arguments “are a pretty sad commentary on the state of the Democratic party.”

Really makes you miss the good old days when all you needed was an abandoned ally, a rusty hanger, and viola! no more unwanted buns in the oven to worry about.

But Stupak is very worried because if ObamaCare passes and Americans actually get the chance to not negligently die so that insurance companies can buy diamond-encrusted toilets of gold, Stupid Stupak thinks it could signal the end of any meaningful role for pro-life Democrats within their own party.

Hahahahaha, as if they were ever the slightest bit meaningful!

That’s almost as ridiculous as those Log Cabin idiots in the GOP who think that aligning themselves with the Party that equates their sexual preferences with those who enjoy the four-legged barnyard kind of love, makes them any less abominable or any more deserving of actual human rights.

“It would be very, very hard for someone who is a right-to-life Democrat to run for office,” he said.

“I won’t leave the party. I’m more comfortable here and still believe in a role within it for the right-to-life cause, but this bill will make being a pro-life Democrat much more difficult. They don’t even want to debate this issue. We’ll probably have to wait until the Republicans take back the majority to fix this.”

Now, that’s the pathetic, broken-down, Stockholm Syndrome Democrat, who just can’t wait one more second for their Republican S&M masters to dominate and abuse them, that we’ve been waiting for!

“Throughout this debate, even when the House leaders have acknowledged us, it’s always been in a backhanded way,” he said. “I’m telling the others to hold firm, and we’ll meet next week, but I’m disappointed in my colleagues who said they’d be with us and now they’re not. It’s almost like some right-to-life members don’t want to be bothered. They just want this over.”

Ha ha, if you thought 9 months was a long time, try dealing with Stupak for over a year.

“This has really reached an unhealthy stage,” Stupak complained. “People are threatening ethic complaints on me. On the left, they’re really stepping it up. Every day, from Rachel Maddow to the Daily Kos, it keeps coming. Does it bother me? Sure. Does it change my position? No.”

He might not have a vagina or uterus in the traditional sense, but that doesn’t stop him from assuming he understands everything that comes along with having female reproductive parts. Or thinking those who do should have sovereignty over their anatomy.

“…Money is their hang-up. Is this how we now value life in America? If money is the issue — come on, we can find room in the budget. This is life we’re talking about.”

Which, by GOP standards, starts precisely at the moment of conception and ends the very second the little rascal slips out of mama’s belly, and takes its first, glorious oxygen-rich breath of life.

Then screw ’em, the little bugger’s on its own!

2 comments to The Dirty Dozen: Bart Stupak’s Life-Loving Dreams Murdered By Life-Hating Democrats

  • I understand that Israel has it’s own lobbyist group in washington (AIPAC – gee I wish the citizens of our country had a lobbyist group of their own), and that Israel also receives over 2 billion dollars from the USA annually. Perhaps throwing this insulting monkey wrench into the peace process, was just their way of saying “thanks”. After all this, there are still some people who say “they’re our closest ally in the region”. Want another tired old saying? …With friends like these…and I am Israeli!

  • You have to love the Gov.. They will increase taxes and kill our paychecks. What do you think employers are going to do when their expense per employee goes up?

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