Wingnut Republican Representative from Louisiana John Fleming was soooooo busy bitching about feeding his apparently very hungry family on his slave wage of $6.3 million a year that he completely missed the not exactly subtle point that The Onion is a satirical publication, meaning it is a joke, not real, is fake, and is meant [...]
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Well, well, that was faster than dumping an ex-wife in the cancer ward! Whining, bloated, real life Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and serial adultering sac of ethics violations Newt Gingrich has just been declared the Big Wiener of the South Carolina Confederate Republican primary. Hooray! Now all of America can experience the amphibeous-named, Tiffany bling-encrusted, [...] New (Old) Flavor of the Month (white power chocolate mousse) Ron Paul is no stranger to controversy, thanks to his various racist, sexist and otherwise close-minded policies of limited government, even more limited brain power, and the freedom to be as selfish, asshole-ish, or basically Ron Paul-ish as humanly possible. Like, say, the latest, greatest selection [...] ARRRRRGGGHHHHH! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!! As if crazed crypt keeper/Libertarian Jesus Ron Paul and his fantasy vision of a post-apocalyptic American wasteland of small government and even smaller minds wasn’t scary enough (umm, need I mention Rand?), the man who makes John McCain look young and stable by comparison went out and found himself [...] After months of deep-throating various meats-on-sticks and confusing serial killer clowns (John Wayne Gacy) with lady-killer movie stars (John Wayne), America’s favorite blue-eyed basket case of the Midwest Michele Bachmann officially announced she is ending her presidential campaign to honor fellow faux grrrrrl power quitter extraordinaire Sarah Palin focus on her real job, crusading against [...] Horny Godfather of grabassery Herman No He Cain’t has gone and done the unthinkable. No, no, not shove another unsuspecting woman’s head into his crotch or offer financial assistance to a dear “friend” by secretly putting his penis into her vagina at various hotels around the country. The other unthinkable thing, effectively ending his hilarious [...] Minnesota hellwoman and (un)equal rights warrior Michele Bachmann is no stranger to fighting for the little people, those least able to speak for themselves, like the li’l fairy living inside Marcus and the various insane voices living inside her head. Which is why Michele is working hard to ensure that the civil rights of all Americans [...] When not embarrassing himself on national teevee by forgetting which of the big, bad, Socialist, gubmint programs he can’t wait to get rid of (edukayshun?) in the middle of a prime-time Republican debate, Slick Rick Perry is usually content to just get drunk and embarrass himself away from the bright glare of the spotlight, like, [...] War of the Words (in 150 or less): Brownback v. Sullivan Thin-skinned crybaby Kansas governor of creationism and trolling Twitter feeds for meany comments by teenage girls, Sam Brownback, has decided to stop harassing 18-year-old high school students and start slashing arts education and civil rights for gays like the wise, compassionate Republican statesman he is. Which [...] Charming black walnut Herman Cain may have a way with the ladies (open-hand ass slaps only!), an uncanny knack for finding new and exciting ways to contradict himself on whatever subject matter is currently being discussed (you name it, he’ll waiver on it!), and the unparalleled ability to offend anyone and everyone with his constant [...] |
 Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.       
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