OMG, presidential teevee star and A-list celeb B. Hussein Obama is back on the boob tube and in America’s hearts and homes, making just the second Oval Office address of his presidency (which is one more than his appearances on The View!) to talk about some Very Important Subject (other than his sketchy origins), like [...]
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World-famous detective Sarah Palin is on a mission. A mission, this time, not from God, but She-Ra Princess of Power, to find out just who or what nefarious librul forces are behind the terrible hijacking of the term “feminist” (Muslims?), her favoritest phrase in the whole wide world, even if she doesn’t really know what [...] Malcolm Stevenson “Steve” Forbes, Jr, aka Steve Forbes, the snooty, silver-spoon fed son of inherited wealth and former Republican Presidential candidate no one remembers (pssst: he wasn’t that good!) is once again in the spotlight for being ummm, well, the petty, pampered heir of the famed Forbes publishing empire, and mouthpiece for all of Mega-Rich [...] When Joe Barton felt the sweet, seductive allure of those fifteen minutes of hot, sexy oil-soaked fame, he just couldn’t resist! It felt soooooo good finally getting the attention for once, and having people listen to him instead of that orange Boehner for a change. Now, there’s a change Joe can certainly believe in! You know [...] “Nooo, I have not had implants. I think a report like that is about as real and truthful that Todd and I are divorcing or that I bought a place in the Hamptons or that Trig is not my own child. And we still put up with that garbage, too.”– Sarah Palin Hot [...] It’s been 18 loooong months since insane lego-haired criminal ex-governor of Illinois, Hot Rod Blagojevich, was busted for being the actual insane lego-haired criminal governor and, boy is Blago ready to get back in the ol’ spotlight to finally show the good people of IL-na-na, no make that the world, how a sweet, [...] $arah Palin sure get’s it. But do you, America? Do you get it?? Because when patron St. $arah was leading thousands of morons chanting her favoritest slogans, “drill, baby drill” and “drill here, drill now,” what she really meant was that we should in no way, shape, or form, be doing exploratory offshore drilling, baby, [...] National oil whore $arah Palin knows a thing or two about spillin’ baby spillin’ barrels of delicious petroleum up ‘n down America’s southern coast, because one time back in 1989, when Exxon Valdez was drillin’ baby drillin’ all over Prince William Sound, the exact same thing happened to her wonderful Alaska, for Pete’s [...] Human contradiction and newest superstar addition to CNN’s savvy news team of teenage Twitterbugs, anonymous bloggers, and painfully awkward adults pretending to be tech-savvy tweens, former Red-State blogger Erick Erickson is so beyond excited to join the most trusted name in news, that he’s willing to distance himself from every insane, rambling, incoherent statement he’s [...] |
 Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.       
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