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Big Head Tom & The (UN) Monsters In Lubbock County, Texas

Every Republican worth their weight in Texas T-Bones knows there is never, ever, EVER a reason to raise taxes on the good people of these United States of Jesus, so help them God.

Err, except one.

If for some reason that no-good, chocolatey-skinned NOBAMER feller were to win reelection, God forbid, and hand over the sovereignty of […]

Rick Perry Denies Medical Coverage For Millions Of Texans, Bringing New Meaning To The Words "Texas Toast"

Coyote-and-criminal-killing governor of drunken idiocy Texas, Rick Perry, is not about to stand back and watch while his fellow wingnut governors from equally awful, deadbeat states steal all his thunder by rejecting the big, bad gubmint’s evil plans to expand Medicaid and help insure millions of Texans without access to medical coverage.

Aww, hell no! You […]

Texas GOP Bans 'Critical Thinking' In Schools Because Knowledge Is For Godless Commies & Queer Democrats (AKA All Non-Texas Residents)

Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the huge, swinging cojones of the Grand Old Party in Grand Old Texas.

Hell, just look at their latest, greatest platform outlining the GOP’s brilliant (by Texas standards, retarded to everyone else) policies for 2012. Wait, or was it 1220? I can never remember!

Middle Aged men, the Middle Ages, is there […]

Texas College Republicans May Flunk Most Things, But They Sure Get An A In Racist Twitter Poetry

Holy Twit! Another day, another University of Texas Austin College Republicans President tweets something terrible and racist about President Obama, 4 like fun ‘n stuff! Hooray!!

The wonderfully enlightened prose (for trailer trash in Amarillo) comes from the second University of Texas College Republicans President in as many months, talented poet-to-be, Cassie Wright. The first one, […]

True Men Don't Kill Coyotes, They Kill Federal Reserve Chairmen!

Heil Jesus?

Memo to Rick Perry: Don’t hold your arm like that. Especially at a podium with a microphone in front of a crowd. I mean seriously. Don’t even let your arm do that for a second. Not even one second. Just a suggestion.

Then again, Slick Rick was never one to take advice from anyone. That’s […]

WWJD? Probably Anything But Ask Rick Perry & His Crazy People Revival For Help!

Read My Lips. No New Texans!

It is no secret that God has been keeping all the rain to himself (mastery of the universe sure makes a deity thirsty!) and shooting fire and brimstone at the morality-crazed wingnuts in the American South like some wild, hormone-crazed, undersexed teenager furiously firing BB pellets at empty beer cans […]

Like Crude Oil On Marine Mammals, Rep. Joe Barton Sticks To The Sage Words Of Rep. Joe Barton

When Joe Barton felt the sweet, seductive allure of those fifteen minutes of hot, sexy oil-soaked fame, he just couldn’t resist! It felt soooooo good finally getting the attention for once, and having people listen to him instead of that orange Boehner for a change. Now, there’s a change Joe can certainly believe in!

You know […]

Stupid Is As Stupid's Taught: The Texas Two-Step Through History

Welcome to the Lone Star state, where everything is bigger, badder, and likely, beer-battered and deep fried, including the impressionable young brains of the good ol’ boys and gals in Texas’ already stellar public school system.

That’s right, folks! Thanks to a 9-5 vote by the Republican-dominated Texas State Board of Education, the new, […]

True Men Don't Kill Coyotes, They Crush Hopes & Destroy Dreams

Yeehaw, Cowboy!

Gun totin’, fiercely heterosexual, 100% pure all beef patty of hunky manhood, Texas Governor, slick Rick Perry rarely feels what the rest of us non-laser-sighted pistol carrying losers call fear, deep within his chiseled, manly chest.

But there are times when even a rough ‘n tumble, real Texas man like Rick Perry feels […]

Sarah Palin Continues Her Dingbat Drifter Tour Across The Mainland

Fresh off helping Gramps McCain lose his second election in as many years, sweet Sarah Palin arrived in Bush’s old stomping ground, Midland, Texas, to speak to the good ol’ boys and gals on behalf of the Liberty and Freedom Foundation about the terrible reversal of fortune that has come to pass ever […]