South Carolina | Democralypse Now - The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites

Rick Santorum's Gift To The Jews Is A Holiday Wish From Jesus Christ

Leave it to sweater-vest rocking, missionary-sex crusading, Christ loving, gay-bashing Republican Rick Santorum to know just what the Jews of South Carolina (all six of them!) want to hear around Hanukkah time: A quote from Jesus Christ in the New Testament threatening people who don’t follow HIS word. Here’s looking at you, Jews!

Because nothing says [...]

Newt Gingrich Wins South Carolina, Reminding America Why It's South Carolina In The First Place

Well, well, that was faster than dumping an ex-wife in the cancer ward! Whining, bloated, real life Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and serial adultering sac of ethics violations Newt Gingrich has just been declared the Big Wiener of the South Carolina Confederate Republican primary. Hooray! Now all of America can experience the amphibeous-named, Tiffany bling-encrusted, [...]

OMG! Lindsey Graham's Vote For Elena Kagan Ensures He'll Lose His Next Election To Some White Hood 'N Robe Wearin' Patriot Who Thinks Less But Hates More

Dick Durbin Whispers Sweet Nothings To Lindsey Graham As John Cornyn Jealously Fumes…

The Senate Judiciary Committee voted to advance questionably lesbian, definitely Socialist softball player Elena Kagan’s Supreme Court nomination to the full Senate by a vote of 13 to 6, split almost entirely along party lines (OMG, that’s craziness!) except for that one [...]

Just Because His Name's Lindsey, He Talks With A Lisp, & Is A Life-Long Bachelor Doesn't Make Him A Gay...Or A Moderate Either!

Oooh, Senator Do Tell!

Justin Bieber look-alike Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) may be a mysterious cross between a middle aged lesbian and a tweenage heartthrob, but that doesn’t mean this baby-faced, sexually ambiguous good ol’ boy from South Carolina’s gonna start donning breeches and waistcoat and throwing back cups of freshly brewed English Breakfast, like the [...]

Nobody Knows How To Shake Up, Dumb Down, Or Screw Over An Election Quite Like South Carolina!

Well done, South Carolina, well done! You have surpassed even the lowest, most pathetic expectations to solidify a sullied hallowed place in South Carolina’s great political hall of shame.

This is no small feat! Especially in good ol’ South Carolina, where Republican governors hike Appalachian Trails to wild extra-marital sex with hot Argentine mistresses, sexy Republican [...]