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Mitt Romney Demands Barack Obama Immediately Suspend His Campaign Because America Deserves Better Than The Truth

OMG, people, did you hear the news? The terrible, no-good, Earth-shattering, game-changing news about Joe Biden saying the word “chains,” which is taboo because it is racist against Mitt Romney and also “divisive” “disgusting” and “not uplifitng,” three things Republicans know absolutely nothing about. Nothing!

Well, well Mittens isn’t going to take this insubordination sitting down. […]

Democrats Put Marriage Equality Where Their Mouth Is While Republicans Slurp Secret Sauce & Pound Patties To Prove Deep-Fried Discrimination Is Finger-Lickin' Good

Increasingly irrelevant Sarah Palin’s increasingly desperate grifter tour quest for attention included a quick stop at a Texas Chick-fil-A to “support a great business”, munch on a deliciously diabetic, deep-fried chicken sandwich, and of course, to tell the terrible homosexuals “I hate you,” without saying, “homosexuals, I hate you.”

Ah yes, the perfect fast food for […]

People Of The Sunshine State: Sarah Palin Urges America To Rage Against The Machine (& All Rational Thought) And Make Newt The Man

Former reality teevee star and failed vice-president, governor, political pundit, mother, grifter, fame whore, EVERYTHING, Sarah Palin, took a break from the usual Facebook trolling and illiterate Tweeting to continue her bizarre quest endorsing Newt Gingrich because of some on-again, off-again, leftist hard rock band from the ’90s. Or something like that.

Here’s Mama Grizz herself […]

A Quitter Never Wins & A Winner Never Quits, Which Is Why Sarah Palin Will Just Go Ahead & Be A Loser Who Always Quits

Take a deep breath, America. Sarah Palin’s awful, vomit-inducing, toxic reign of idiocy is officially over. It’s true! On the momentous 5th day of October in the 2011th year of mankind, the nation’s, no, no, make that the world’s, most famous grifter-quitter-grandma from hell (aka Wasilla), Sarah Louise Palin, aka Lou Sarah aka Mama Grizz […]

Makin' Mama Proud: Bristol Palin Rides A Mechanical Bull, Gets Into Bar Fight With Angry Homosexual

Like most new 20-year-old single mothers, Bristol Palin spent her Thursday night riding a mechanical bull and screaming at some gay guy in a West Hollywood bar because that’s what underage, abstinence-crusading hillbillies do when shamelessly grifting, err, filming themselves being idiots for some dumb reality teevee show nobody’s going to watch anyway.

So there’s Bristol, […]

The Great American Scheme: Send Sarah Money To See Sarah Run!

No one, I mean no one, knows how to make a killing from doing nothing quite like grifter-quitter-grandma extraordinaire Sarah Palin. Hell, it’s not her fault, she was born that way!

And being the kind of psycho, narcissistic, fame whore who thinks she’s entitled to moose piles of money for ridin’ around the county yellin’ crazy […]

Barack Obama Hits The Road As His Approval Hits The Skids, While Michele Bachman Wins Over Iowa By Shoving Corn Dogs Into Wide Gaping Holes

2012 Fever is on the rise in Iowa, where desperate Republican candidates (and Marcus Bachmann!) deep-throated footlong corndogs (for freedom) in order to get elected President of the “Ames Straw Poll,” hobnob with racist, old, white Midwesterners, provide endless comedic relief to the rest of us, and of course, prove to the entire nation their […]

The Wheels On The Bus Go Round & Round, Except In Sarah Palin's Case When They Get Dizzy & Quit

While the world was busy pouring over silly, trivial summer news stories like illegal wars in Libya, the Grand Old Party’s Grand Old War on poor people, and esteemed members of Congress tweeting fuzzy pics of their own esteemed members, the rest of us were breathlessly waiting for real, important news stories about Sarah Palin […]

President Barack Obama Becomes The Newest Politician To Tweet His Private Thoughts, Hopefully Not His Private Parts

Barack Obama, aka Barry from the block (Pennsylvania Ave, what what!) finally got around to installing the Twitter application on his Blackberry, probably now that the rest of the dorks in Congress have taken a collective, much needed break from incessantly tweeting fuzzy pics of their genitalia and other wonderful congressional delights in 140 characters […]

The Grifters Are Coming, The Grifters Are Coming! Sarah Palin Revisits Paul Revere's Famous Midnight Ride

World famous historian and renowned tour guide Sarah Palin continues to crisscross America in a rented tour bus to help bring knowledge (and laughter!) to the nation on her unique, one-woman quest to make history as the first woman to serve as Commander in Chief cause the nation’s collective IQ to drop a couple of […]