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Democrats Put Marriage Equality Where Their Mouth Is While Republicans Slurp Secret Sauce & Pound Patties To Prove Deep-Fried Discrimination Is Finger-Lickin' Good

Increasingly irrelevant Sarah Palin’s increasingly desperate grifter tour quest for attention included a quick stop at a Texas Chick-fil-A to “support a great business”, munch on a deliciously diabetic, deep-fried chicken sandwich, and of course, to tell the terrible homosexuals “I hate you,” without saying, “homosexuals, I hate you.”

Ah yes, the perfect fast food for […]

"It Was A Dark And Stormy (Election) Night..."

Gather ‘Round Children, It’s Democrat Scary Story Time!

“When suddenly the most hideous, deformed, terrifying, socially backwards monster-in-a-sweater-vest appeared out of the abyss (of rural Pennsylvania) to STEAL THE ELECTION and terrorize the nation’s fashion sense.  And no woman’s sex organ is safe from THE CLAW! AAAAAGGGHHHH!”

Where the Wild Things Are? In Rick Santorum’s […]

High School Losercal: If You Looked Like Rick Santorum In High School, You'd Probably Hate The World Too

Oh so that explains it.

Here’s Rick, err make that “Rooster” Santorum back when he was manager of his high school baseball team, presumably so he could smack hot, sweaty asses and shout “hit the showers” after every game.

And by the looks of it, the dude got even less pussy than we already suspected. Which pretty […]

Rick Santorum Would Love To Grant Puerto Rico Statehood If OnlyThey Weren't So Weird & Mexicany

 Rick Santorum Shirtless: Keeping Kids Abstinent One Nipple At A Time

Rick Santorum took a break from his usual spewing nonsense about the dangers of rubbing unmarried loins together and letting silly women make important choices about their own deviant bodies to offend another oft-persecuted group of people, the scary foreign-tongued Mexicans.

Sure they may live in […]

Philip Rivers Lobs Endorsement At Rick Santorum, But Like Most Things He Throws, It Will Probably Get Intercepted

Via Big Swinging Chicks:

Still irrelevent San Diego Chargers’ QB and Satan gangledopper, Philip Rivers, has apparently taken a break from his usual shrieking at opposing teams’ sidelines and fumbling key, game-clinching snaps to throw his (wobbly, slightly-retarded looking, likely intercepted) ball into a different kind of arena: the political one. But sadly for Mr. Rivers, […]

Rick Santorum AKA Pope Pius XIII Wants To Vomit All Over America Because Of JFK

Insane person and frothy byproduct of anal sex Slick Rick Santorum is once again all hot ‘n bothered, but this time it isn’t even because of hoity-toity elitist college educations, horny teenagers grinding their privates against one another like sweaty savages, the legally sanctioned Holocaust of the unborn, or secret Muslim terrorist presidents who don’t […]

Mitt Romney Is A Huge NASCAR Fan & Has Almost As Much Personality As The Cars Racing In It

Billionaire everyman Willard “Mitt” Romney simply cannot stop reminding America what a regular, down-to-earth, hard-working, obscenely wealthy, non-robot guy he is, with a white picket fence (around one of his mansions, he’s sure!) and a wife who drives “a couple of Cadillacs” like the rest of you people with jobs and what’s the weird “M” […]

Rick Santorum Has Intimate Knowledge Of Satan; Coincidentally, It's Also The Only Thing He's Intimate With

I’m sure by now you’ve probably heard some vague rumblings about the mysterious substance surging through the nation, oozing its frothy, God-fearing, Santorum-y essence across the vast, toxic, anal sex-ridden, pagan and homosexual wasteland that is OBAMA’S United States.

But just who is this frumpy Jesus freak in a sweater vest spreading the gooey missionary (style) […]

Rick Santorum's Gift To The Jews Is A Holiday Wish From Jesus Christ

Leave it to sweater-vest rocking, missionary-sex crusading, Christ loving, gay-bashing Republican Rick Santorum to know just what the Jews of South Carolina (all six of them!) want to hear around Hanukkah time: A quote from Jesus Christ in the New Testament threatening people who don’t follow HIS word. Here’s looking at you, Jews!

Because nothing says […]

Rick Santorum Is Frothing Mad That Equal Rights For All Applies To Weird, Scary (Tempting?) Homosexuals

Stripped away, really Rick? Stripped? No sexual connotation there.

Wait, what? Apparently, Rick “Google me at your own risk” Santorum confuses restoring rights with destroying rights. Or at least when it comes to gross gays and lezzies who Rick knows shouldn’t be allowed to get gross gay-married or do anything except get ridiculed, marginalized, and discriminated […]