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Coyote-and-criminal-killing governor of drunken idiocy Texas, Rick Perry, is not about to stand back and watch while his fellow wingnut governors from equally awful, deadbeat states steal all his thunder by rejecting the big, bad gubmint’s evil plans to expand Medicaid and help insure millions of Texans without access to medical coverage. Aww, hell no! You […] Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the huge, swinging cojones of the Grand Old Party in Grand Old Texas. Hell, just look at their latest, greatest platform outlining the GOP’s brilliant (by Texas standards, retarded to everyone else) policies for 2012. Wait, or was it 1220? I can never remember! Middle Aged men, the Middle Ages, is there […] When not embarrassing himself on national teevee by forgetting which of the big, bad, Socialist, gubmint programs he can’t wait to get rid of (edukayshun?) in the middle of a prime-time Republican debate, Slick Rick Perry is usually content to just get drunk and embarrass himself away from the bright glare of the spotlight, like, […] Heil Jesus? Memo to Rick Perry: Don’t hold your arm like that. Especially at a podium with a microphone in front of a crowd. I mean seriously. Don’t even let your arm do that for a second. Not even one second. Just a suggestion. Then again, Slick Rick was never one to take advice from anyone. That’s […] Read My Lips. No New Texans! It is no secret that God has been keeping all the rain to himself (mastery of the universe sure makes a deity thirsty!) and shooting fire and brimstone at the morality-crazed wingnuts in the American South like some wild, hormone-crazed, undersexed teenager furiously firing BB pellets at empty beer cans […] |
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