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Rick Santorum Shirtless: Keeping Kids Abstinent One Nipple At A Time
Rick Santorum took a break from his usual spewing nonsense about the dangers of rubbing unmarried loins together and letting silly women make important choices about their own deviant bodies to offend another oft-persecuted group of people, the scary foreign-tongued Mexicans.
Sure they may live in […]
Right wing internet provocateur or as Alec Baldwin so eloquently put it, “festering boil on the anus of public discourse,” Andrew Breitbart, has died in Los Angeles at age 43 “of natural causes.”
Which for a conservative typically means asphyxiating on a ball-gag in full latex body suit while strapped to a wall in a dank, […]
Billionaire everyman Willard “Mitt” Romney simply cannot stop reminding America what a regular, down-to-earth, hard-working, obscenely wealthy, non-robot guy he is, with a white picket fence (around one of his mansions, he’s sure!) and a wife who drives “a couple of Cadillacs” like the rest of you people with jobs and what’s the weird “M” […]
I’m sure by now you’ve probably heard some vague rumblings about the mysterious substance surging through the nation, oozing its frothy, God-fearing, Santorum-y essence across the vast, toxic, anal sex-ridden, pagan and homosexual wasteland that is OBAMA’S United States.
But just who is this frumpy Jesus freak in a sweater vest spreading the gooey missionary (style) […]
Now, normally when a smug, disingenuous politician, like say, Rep. Pete Hoekstra of Michigan, releases a totally offensive, cartoonishly racist ad featuring an Asian lady riding a bicycle through Asian rice paddies and taunting Michiganers about how lazy and unemployed they are through stereotypical broken English, their popularity increases exponentially, usually as a misguided populist […]
Wingnut Republican Representative from Louisiana John Fleming was soooooo busy bitching about feeding his apparently very hungry family on his slave wage of $6.3 million a year that he completely missed the not exactly subtle point that The Onion is a satirical publication, meaning it is a joke, not real, is fake, and is meant […]
Ah Mittens. Fresh off a most undeserved and uninspired victory over a gelatinous blob of ethical lapses and abandoned wives in the Florida Republican primary, Willard “Mitt” Romney proceeded to promptly squander all momentum and break the Golden Rule of presidential politics: pretend not to be the cold, heartless, asshole you really are.
Whoopsies!
You see, to […]
Former reality teevee star and failed vice-president, governor, political pundit, mother, grifter, fame whore, EVERYTHING, Sarah Palin, took a break from the usual Facebook trolling and illiterate Tweeting to continue her bizarre quest endorsing Newt Gingrich because of some on-again, off-again, leftist hard rock band from the ’90s. Or something like that.
Here’s Mama Grizz herself […]
Well, well, that was faster than dumping an ex-wife in the cancer ward! Whining, bloated, real life Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and serial adultering sac of ethics violations Newt Gingrich has just been declared the Big Wiener of the South Carolina Confederate Republican primary. Hooray! Now all of America can experience the amphibeous-named, Tiffany bling-encrusted, […]
ARRRRRGGGHHHHH! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!
As if crazed crypt keeper/Libertarian Jesus Ron Paul and his fantasy vision of a post-apocalyptic American wasteland of small government and even smaller minds wasn’t scary enough (umm, need I mention Rand?), the man who makes John McCain look young and stable by comparison went out and found himself […]
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