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Marco Rubio Is An Idiot, Not A Scientist, Automatically Qualifying Him As 2016 GOP Frontrunner

The Grand Old Party of Grandfatherly Old White Men hasn’t been doing so hot with the under 65, non-racist, non-legitimate rape-and-fetus-obsessed crowd, probably because they’re usually too busy condemning them to hell instead.

Good thing, there is one young, strapping, hip-hop lovin’ Cuban man ready to rise from the Mitt Romney-tinged ashes of the Republican Party […]

Rick Santorum AKA Pope Pius XIII Wants To Vomit All Over America Because Of JFK

Insane person and frothy byproduct of anal sex Slick Rick Santorum is once again all hot ‘n bothered, but this time it isn’t even because of hoity-toity elitist college educations, horny teenagers grinding their privates against one another like sweaty savages, the legally sanctioned Holocaust of the unborn, or secret Muslim terrorist presidents who don’t […]

WWJD? Probably Anything But Ask Rick Perry & His Crazy People Revival For Help!

Read My Lips. No New Texans!

It is no secret that God has been keeping all the rain to himself (mastery of the universe sure makes a deity thirsty!) and shooting fire and brimstone at the morality-crazed wingnuts in the American South like some wild, hormone-crazed, undersexed teenager furiously firing BB pellets at empty beer cans […]

Sarah Palin Continues To Prove Her Love For America By Showing Her Hatred Of Muslims

Sarah Louise Palin continues to defy reason, logic, our wildest imaginations, and even the basic laws of science on her national quest to make America a dumber, more hateful, intolerant place like her favoritest Russia or Alaska or whatever, by destroying it from the inside out.

Although, to be perfectly honest, one would probably gain more […]