You Know Who Else Mitt Loves? That Guy! (Oh Wait, That’s A Mirror!)
Willard “Mitt” Romney is a lover of many things. Many, many generic things. He loves air, for instance. The way it effortlessly swirls around from place to place, filling up empty space without ever being noticed. The delicate way it fills your chest, […]
Ah Mittens. Fresh off a most undeserved and uninspired victory over a gelatinous blob of ethical lapses and abandoned wives in the Florida Republican primary, Willard “Mitt” Romney proceeded to promptly squander all momentum and break the Golden Rule of presidential politics: pretend not to be the cold, heartless, asshole you really are.
You see, to […]
Guess which grandchild heard that Papa might run again?
The one that’s hyperventilating, sobbing, “No, papa, noooooooo!!!”
Look, Mitt, I don’t know which one of your perfectly adorable, weirdly named, ridiculously large Mormon brood heard you were running for president again, and frankly, I don’t much care.
Nor does anyone in this great big God-blessed nation […]
Holy Mental Mormons! Blond haired angel of truth and possibly soon-to-be blind prophet Glenn Beck took to his favoritest radio show, his own, to reveal some very startling news: the divine messenger himself, Glenn Lee Beck, may be dying! OMG!
Err, at least we think so, as Glenn Beck is being very cryptic about the whole […]