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Michele Bachmann Knows Her Campaign Was "Mistake-Free" In The Same Way Her Husband Is Gay-Free

Michele, my (liberty) belle. How nice it must be to live in an alternate dimension, one where sexy, straight-as-pray-the-gay-away homosexual conversion therapists make the perfect hubbies (not to mention personal stylists!) and loony, pill-popping, Migraine-suffering (and inducing!), unhinged gaffe-magnets come thisclose to winning the Republican nomination courtesy of their near-flawless campaign.

Ignorance Psychosis is bliss, […]

With Dreams Of The White House Fading Fast, Michele Bachmann Will Take Her One-Woman Circus Act To A Much More Appropriate Place: The Nut House

After months of deep-throating various meats-on-sticks and confusing serial killer clowns (John Wayne Gacy) with lady-killer movie stars (John Wayne), America’s favorite blue-eyed basket case of the Midwest Michele Bachmann officially announced she is ending her presidential campaign to honor fellow faux grrrrrl power quitter extraordinaire Sarah Palin focus on her real job, crusading against […]

Michele Bachmann Generously Offers To Let Gays Get Straight Married, Just Like Marcus Bachmann Did!

Minnesota hellwoman and (un)equal rights warrior Michele Bachmann is no stranger to fighting for the little people, those least able to speak for themselves, like the li’l fairy living inside Marcus and the various insane voices living inside her head.

Which is why Michele is working hard to ensure that the civil rights of all Americans […]

Michele Bachmann's Presidential Hopes Are Sinking So Fast, Her Entire New Hampshire Staff Decided To Jump Ship For Something Safer, Like The Titanic

America’s favorite blue-eyed basket case Michele Bachmann is sure having a rough go at this whole running for president thing. Turns out, convincing more than 4.8 percent of the voting population that you are indeed just as capable of ruling the free world as being involuntarily committed to the local psych ward is a lot […]

Barack Obama Hits The Road As His Approval Hits The Skids, While Michele Bachman Wins Over Iowa By Shoving Corn Dogs Into Wide Gaping Holes

2012 Fever is on the rise in Iowa, where desperate Republican candidates (and Marcus Bachmann!) deep-throated footlong corndogs (for freedom) in order to get elected President of the “Ames Straw Poll,” hobnob with racist, old, white Midwesterners, provide endless comedic relief to the rest of us, and of course, prove to the entire nation their […]

Michele Bachman Has A Secret Fashion Weapon Stashed In Her Closet & His Name Is Marcus Bachmann

Michele Bachmann may have a set of sparkling baby blues to kill for (try it, she dares you!) and a smokin’ hot body to boot, but how does Rep. “Crazy Eye Candy” from Minnesota keep herself looking so fabulously fashionable??

Why, the secret styling weapon she keeps stashed inside her walk-in closet, of course!

From a 2006 […]

Oy Vey! Like Everything Else, Michele Bachmann Works Up The Nerve To Say "Chutzpah" In The Most Idiotic Way Possible

Michele Meshugana Bachmann went on her favoritest Fox News for the third time in one week not to talk about her homosexual husband’s tendency to listen to struggling men talk about their terrible same-sex attractions all day long (for Jesus!) and also to once again remind the world why anyone too dumb and crazy to […]

Michele Bachmann Signs "Marriage Pledge" To Stay Away From Porn, Gays & Revert To The Good Ol' Days Of Slavery

Aspiring Insane-Person-in-Chief and tragic illiteracy victim Michele Bachmann will not sign dumb, 1000+ page bills helping stupid poor people (or pesky sick kids) get health care, mostly because she’s too busy channeling her lovely kindred spirit serial killing clown John Wayne Gacy and also because anything over three pages double spaced 16-point font makes […]

New York Says I Do To Gay Marriage, While Republicans Say I Don't To Any & All Rational Thought

OMG, people, GAY is now officially legal in New York!

They’re here, they’re queer, and they’re coming to a gift registry near you!

Now that New York has reclaimed the mantle of progress and equality from it’s once-hip, now tragically Mormon, Prop 8 populated friend, California, and become the sixth state to give those pesky gays the […]

Sounds Fishy: Michele "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann Nearly Eaten By Lesbians In 2005

Now that Michele Bachmann has officially tossed her hat into the presidential ring as the latest, greatest Republican to humiliate themselves on national teevee, make Mitt Romney look electable, get crushed by Obama in the general elections, America can rest easy knowing that the good Lord Jesus Christ will guide His chosen candidate, everyone’s favorite […]