|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Open Wide If You’re Crazy! Everyone knows Delaware’s time zone is approximately ten years behind New York (depending on which part of the state you call home), and with its last shining moment coming way back in 1787 as the first state to ratify the Constitution of the United States, it’s been pretty much downhill [...] Open Wide… Well, well now isn’t this just rich. Fabulous, really! Weird, self-loathing closet case, former Republican National Committee chair, George Bush’s 2004 campaign manager, and pretty much the policy equivalent of the AIDS virus on the LGBT community, Ken Mehlman has ever so graciously decided to spare the American people the suspense and come out [...] Pop quiz: What kind of man lies about receiving distinguished military awards, his own sexuality (straight as boomerang!), and just for sh*ts and giggles, being a nursery school teacher, way back when he was just a wee college student in New York? Give up? Why, it’s none other than (closeted) Illinois Republican Senate hopeful, Mark Kirk, [...] America’s fiercest blonde-haired fighter of scary Mexicans, Aryanzona governor Jan Brewer just can’t stop shrieking about all the wonderful reasons to round up the state’s brown people and kill them ship ‘em back to Mexicanland or wherever the hell it is these dark, menacing “things” come from. But you know what hurts sweet Jan even more [...] It’s been several days, (weeks even!) since the last prominent, vehemently anti-gay Republican got outed as a secret, terrible homosexual. This is highly unusual! So, naturally the time has come to unveil the latest member of the “is-he-or-isn’t-he-a-secret-gay-hypocrite-club,” Illinois Republican and military award exaggerator extraordinaire, the one, the only, Mark Steven Kirk. Hooray! It’s [...] Mark Kirk, At Your Slightly Embellished Service! Like bees and honey, needles and thread, or Glenn Beck and swastikas, politicians and lies go together like $arah Palin and stupid. A perfect fit! When it comes to douchebag politicians lying, misleading, or otherwise bending the truth about which trails they were hiking (like Appalachian paths to hot, extramarital sex [...] |
 Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.       
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Copyright © 2012 Democralypse Now – The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites - All Rights Reserved |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||