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Mr. Smith Goes To Washington To Kill The Polar Bears & Fight The Threat Of Knowledge

Can I Get A Hand, Lamar?

Hey America, remember all those binders full of women the GOP had stashed away, waiting to free from their three-ringed cages and unleash a wave of estrogen-filled pragmatism upon the land?

Neither do Republicans. Instead they’ve decided that old white men are really the only diversity they need, particularly […]

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, Except If You're Republican & Your Boyfriend Is A Cardboard Cutout Of Barack Obama

It is no secret that Republicans loooove to carry on fake conversations with inanimate objects pretending to be their #1 enemy Barack Hussein Obama. For one thing, they never talk back or flash a charming smile or even so much as a single cogent thought from their non-existent heads. Just the way Republicans […]

Ignorance Is Freedom! New Poll Proves Fox News Viewers Are The Dumbest, Most Uninformed People In The World, Right After Fox News' Hosts

But why do the poll numbers add up to 120%, mommy? Because junior, everyone knows 100% is for pussies, math geeks, and lame-o Democrats. Not for hot, sexy Fox News, the undisputed leader in feigned 9/11 outrage, shamelessly bad graphics, mentally unstable news anchors, and baseless lies and mistruths, proudly poisoning America since 1996!

And now […]

Mirror Mirror On The Wall, Will You Help Me Grow Some Balls & Fulfill My Promise Of Equality For All?

Look you gays, err guys, the Obama administration like totally wants to abolish that terrible, shameful, discriminatory Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy, 100% for sure without a doubt. They are like totes behind you on that one!

But, here’s the thing. They are very particular when it comes to actually putting this horrible […]

Vote Christine O'Donnell For All Your Freaky Faux Feminist, Anti-Masturbation, & Wild Witchcraft Needs!

Open Wide If You’re Crazy!

Everyone knows Delaware’s time zone is approximately ten years behind New York (depending on which part of the state you call home), and with its last shining moment coming way back in 1787 as the first state to ratify the Constitution of the United States, it’s been pretty much downhill […]

The 43-Year-Old Virgin Is Bursting Out Of The Closet Now That He's Finished Trying To Stuff His Entire Fellow LGBT Community Back In!

Open Wide…

Well, well now isn’t this just rich. Fabulous, really!

Weird, self-loathing closet case, former Republican National Committee chair, George Bush’s 2004 campaign manager, and pretty much the policy equivalent of the AIDS virus on the LGBT community, Ken Mehlman has ever so graciously decided to spare the American people the suspense and come out […]

Only Mark Kirk Is Man Enough (And Straight Enough!) To Lie About Being A Nursery School Teacher

Pop quiz: What kind of man lies about receiving distinguished military awards, his own sexuality (straight as boomerang!), and just for sh*ts and giggles, being a nursery school teacher, way back when he was just a wee college student in New York?

Give up? Why, it’s none other than (closeted) Illinois Republican Senate hopeful, Mark Kirk, […]

When Gov. Jan Brewer Said Her Father Died "Fighting The Nazis" She Simply Confused Nazis With Mexicans, An Honest Mistake!

America’s fiercest blonde-haired fighter of scary Mexicans, Aryanzona governor Jan Brewer just can’t stop shrieking about all the wonderful reasons to round up the state’s brown people and kill them ship ’em back to Mexicanland or wherever the hell it is these dark, menacing “things” come from.

But you know what hurts sweet Jan even more […]

At Least Mark Kirk Still Wins The Coveted Award For Best Republican Impersonation Of A Moderate, Straight Man!

It’s been several days, (weeks even!) since the last prominent, vehemently anti-gay Republican got outed as a secret, terrible homosexual. This is highly unusual!

So, naturally the time has come to unveil the latest member of the “is-he-or-isn’t-he-a-secret-gay-hypocrite-club,” Illinois Republican and military award exaggerator extraordinaire, the one, the only, Mark Steven Kirk. Hooray!

It’s […]

Unlike Rival Alexi Giannoulias, Mark Kirk Doesn’t Need Family To Make Him Look Bad, He Can Do That All By Himself!

Mark Kirk, At Your Slightly Embellished Service!

Like bees and honey, needles and thread, or Glenn Beck and swastikas, politicians and lies go together like $arah Palin and stupid.

A perfect fit!

When it comes to douchebag politicians lying, misleading, or otherwise bending the truth about which trails they were hiking (like Appalachian paths to hot, extramarital sex […]