When you think of crazed, Mexican-hating, wingnut Arizona sheriffs, normally the first thing that comes to mind is a crazed, gay, Mexican-hating, wingnut Arizona sheriff who hates his own hideous homo self even more than the terrible Mexicans he’s always shrieking about, that he actually tries to deport his gay Mexican lover for the terrible [...]
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Take a deep breath, America. Sarah Palin’s awful, vomit-inducing, toxic reign of idiocy is officially over. It’s true! On the momentous 5th day of October in the 2011th year of mankind, the nation’s, no, no, make that the world’s, most famous grifter-quitter-grandma from hell (aka Wasilla), Sarah Louise Palin, aka Lou Sarah aka Mama Grizz [...] South Carolina’s favorite sexually ambiguous native son, lifelong bachelor, and lesbian look-a-like senior Senator Lindsey Graham is always reliably against deviant homosexuals having any basic human rights in America because well, Lindsey’s a Republican, y’all! And not just any gay-bashin’ war lovin’ rough ‘n tumble conservative from below the Mason-Dixon line, but a certain effeminate, never-been-married [...] Rejoice America because John McCain’s deranged, one-man stinky rotten loser, raging bull destroy-Obama crusade to keep awful gay and lesbian soldiers from admitting they’re in fact awful gay and lesbian soldiers is now as dead as the old man’s last remaining neurons and synapses. Thanks to the tireless efforts of the usually insufferable but occasionally decent, [...] Oh no, not them pesky ne’r-do-well gays again! Sure, more and more Americans are increasingly supportive of and comfortable with “gays” and “woman gays” aka “lesbians” serving openly in the military because, umm, last I checked this was the 21st century not the late cretaceous period when John McCain was still just a primordial twinkle in [...] Everyone knows John and Cindy McCain have the bestest, most blissfully beautiful, perfectly God-blessed heterosexual marriage of convenience this great land has ever seen. It’s true! For her part, Cindy does bring plenty to the table, like her unique, one-of-a-kind rich trophy wife good looks, senile old man appeal, as much of daddy’s hard-earned Anheuser-Busch beer [...] OMG! Guess what little gay and lezzy monsters across America?? Your little “rights” struggles are over! Done, dunzo, finito, Ga-Ga-gonzo! Oh, wait never mind, you’re all still totally screwed, despite Lady Gaga donning a hotttt meat dress, and p-p-p-poking her face all around Maine, trying to convince the last two “moderate” (aka not completely insane) Senator [...] Congratulations America! All your hard work, tireless efforts, and Cindy McCain’s beer money have finally paid off because John McCain, THE John McCain, has officially defeated certified nutjob and Much like Gramps McCain and the rest of the old, creepy Republicans desperately trying to recapture their-once youthful glow by mastering the art, no make that the science, of popular tween social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook before him, a new, even creepier Asian kid has decided to join the rest of [...] |
 Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.       
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