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Like any other decent white patriot worth their weight in teabags and KFC Double Downs, you too probably spent your weekend basking in the sweet (segregated) glory of the GOP’s new Pledge to America, the biggest, brightest, most gamechangingest idea yet to get that no-good Blacky NObama out of the White House and back where [...]
Well, well looky who finally got all fired, err make that all “wee-wee’d up” during a Labor Day speech in Milwaukee, when our suddenly No-More-Mr.-Nice-Guy-President unveiled a $50 billion long-term jobs program, as well as some good, old fashioned, pent-up rage at the Republican Party, who have spent the better part of the last, oh, [...]
Oh look, 24 hours have passed since terrible Democrats voted in favor of financial reform, which means glowing orange House Minority Leader John Boehner should have endorsed some new, untenable policy in bad faith, umm, about twenty minutes ago at least!
And like the total boner he is, he did not disappoint. His brilliant idea, [...]
What do you do when a desperate, scientifically unexplainable, glowing orange Boehner starts spouting his equally boneheaded opinions on __________ (fill in the blank with whatever subject he is currently waxing pathetic poetic about)?
Why, you naturally give that big Boehner a slap upside the head for having the tangelos big enough to even so much [...]
If you thought BP was the only one spillin’ baby spillin’ toxic oily goo uncontrollably out of big, leaking holes, think again my friends!
Never underestimate the Grand Oil Puppets’ uncanny ability to take a national disaster of epic proportions, and use the tragedy for their own personal and political gain by saying something even more [...]
When Joe Barton felt the sweet, seductive allure of those fifteen minutes of hot, sexy oil-soaked fame, he just couldn’t resist! It felt soooooo good finally getting the attention for once, and having people listen to him instead of that orange Boehner for a change. Now, there’s a change Joe can certainly believe in!
You know [...]
You know what really squeezes the juice right out of John Boehner’s sad orange face? Brings those tears splatterin’ big, fat ‘n hot right out his piercing baby blues?
No, not the distinguished former eight-year Republican President George W. Bush boastin’ ’bout torturin’ Muslims, hehe, while he was The Decider or how he would do it [...]
Oh sweet Jesus, this feels good! After months of agonizing GOP shrieks and wild bonfire dancing over the Democrats all-but-certain election Obamageddon, thanks to all the alleged GOP momentum following Scott Brown’s birthday suit surprise victory in Massachusetts, the time has come to laugh, baby laugh your liberal elitist arugula-eating asses off at what happens [...]
Per usual, President Barack Obama is doing all he possibly can to extend an Olive Branch to all those (Teabaggers, Republicans, Racists, etc) who’d like nothing more than to give him the ol’ heave ho back to the sweltering Kenyan wilderness he came from, by finally letting the nice oil companies drill, baby drill their [...]
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Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.
