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The Onion Becomes Reality: Photos From The Campaign Trail

Don’t Worry Baby, Uncle Joe’s 100% Behind You!

Via the AP: A lady biker sits on Biden’s lap today at Cruisers Diner in Seaman, Ohio.

Which wouldn’t be the first time something weird happened involving Seaman.

Not to be outdone by Joe’s impressive bicycle biker mount, President Obama got a huge lift himself. Literally.

Here’s Big Apple […]

Mitt Romney Demands Barack Obama Immediately Suspend His Campaign Because America Deserves Better Than The Truth

OMG, people, did you hear the news? The terrible, no-good, Earth-shattering, game-changing news about Joe Biden saying the word “chains,” which is taboo because it is racist against Mitt Romney and also “divisive” “disgusting” and “not uplifitng,” three things Republicans know absolutely nothing about. Nothing!

Well, well Mittens isn’t going to take this insubordination sitting down. […]

Gen. Stanley McChrystal Turns On The Real Enemies: The Lame, Non-War Loving Wimps In The White House

Oh no-zees! Did you hear the wild, earth-shattering news broken by that liberal elitist rag for hippie-dippie stoners and druggie rockstars, Rolling Stone?

No, no not what Lady Gaga wasn’t wearing under her latest hideous ensemble that fashion experts are calling some sort of “dress.”

The one about that psychotic commanding officer of all U.S. troops in Afghanistan, […]

Surprise! Famed Congressional Punching Bag Tony Hayward Saved By Even Bigger Oil Whore Joe Barton's Apology Heard 'Round The World

Corporate troll and treacherous Grand Old Pariah, Rep. Joe Barton of Texas, the ranking member of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, went out on a limb to prove he is in fact, the Grade-A douchebag everyone suspected by, wait for it…apologizing to poor BP for the terrible inconvenience America has caused the oil […]

Obama Riffs On Year That's Been, Leno Takes It On The Chin, At Annual White House Correspondents' Din

The good news is that if the whole presidential thing doesn’t end up working out for Barack Obama, America’s favorite joker-in-chief may want to consider a career change, perhaps replacing a one Jay Leno as the undisputed king of freakishly large chins and late night talk shows that nobody watches anyway.

“I am glad that the […]

Fun Facts: Special Literal Edition!

Ooooh, everybody loves fun facts! Literally. Everybody.

Did you know?

Beautiful blue-eyed bombshell Michele Bachmann is literally Nostradamus (with ovaries!) because she correctly predicted that Barack Obama is literally Hitler or at the very least, any one of the other notoriously evil monsters of humanity over the last oh, two centuries or so.

And also Obama is […]