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Herman Cain Likes His Illegal Immigrants Much Like His Fast Food: Deep Fried!

Whether he’s touting his foreign policy skills by grunting nonsense syllables like “Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan” or rescuing the nation’s economy by changing from the gold standard of coins to the Godfather standard of pepperoni slices, and installing the wacko, fictional tax plan he stole from SimCity 4 that repeats the arbitrary number “9” three times while taxing […]

Meet Virgil Peck: The Most Twisted Thing To Come Out Of Kansas Since The Tornado!

As if the name Virgil Peck isn’t freakin’ crazy enough, a certain Kansas State Republican from Tyro figured what better way to reinforce all the negative stereotypes of dumb-as-dirt, ass backwards rednecks from the dusty middle of nowhere than opening his big fat trap to say something terrible and insane about some, likely brown-skinned, minority […]

Uh-Oh, Meg Whitman's Illegal Mexican Housekeeper Was, In Fact, Illegal, Mexican!

Since there is no Buy It Now button to instantly purchase the utterly unwanted job of California Governor, eBay Power Seller™ and notorious employee abuser Meg Whitman is instead forced to engage in a bidding war, like some petty commoner, in the hopes that it is indeed possible for the one-time CEO of the […]

Thanks To Republicans, America Isn't Just Safe From Gays, But Immigrant Children & Their Gross, Immigrant Ways

Rejoice America! Because yesterday, while Senate Republicans — some of the most sexually open, secure people in the entire world — were patriotically filibustering the very idea of debating the possibility of maybe repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, giving terrible gays and lezzies the right to die for their country, the Grand Obstructionist Party were […]

With $600 Million Dollars, Why Not Just Hire The Hard-Working, Industrious Mexicans To Build A Bigger Wall?

If You Build It, They Won’t Come!

Hooray, America! Congress has saved the nation from the menacing brown threat streaming uncontrollably in from the sun ‘n drug-soaked south to steal our jobs, sex-up our supple wives & daughters, and show us dumb gringos how a real Salsa Verde is made.

So now that Congress has passed this […]

The Only Thing The GOP’s Newest, Craziest Idea Repealing The 14th Amendment Accomplishes Is Making Life Even More Awkward For John McCain

“You know, look, I know it’s babies we’re talking about and it’s hard to be tough on babies but let’s remember we’re talking about illegal aliens coming to this country for the purpose of birthing a child, not because they love the kid, cause they want that child to provide them the […]

Republicans Love Blacks & Mexicans So Much, They Just Can't Stop Saying & Doing Weird, Racist Things All The Time

The world’s dopiest illegal stasher of $7 million secret RNC debt, Chairman Michael Steele (who else, yo?) and most deviant duper of liberals and black racists in the White House and NAACP, right-wing media monster mogul Andrew Breitbart are joining forces to create the biggest, most bad-ass fund-raising juggernaut the Republicans, no, make that the […]

When Hate & Hombres Collide: J.T. Ready (Aim, Fire!) & His Posse Of Armed White Supremacists Head South To The Border!

To most average Americans, or at least those of us still blessed with a full set of teeth and the ability to formulate a single coherent English sentence without the words “sp*cs” or “n*ggers,” Arizona’s awesome, new ¡Adiós Amigos! law stemming the tide of gross border jumping beans streaming into the good ol’ US of […]

Hillary Clinton Finally Gets The Hang Of Blowing Things...Like State Secrets On Ecuadorian TV!

Apparently, Hillary Clinton has learned the importance of blowing things every once in a while, because 12 years after a little reminder in the form of an eager, young intern named Monica, Hillrod has finally succumbed to the pressure and opened that nice mouth, big and wide.

Yes, Hilly blew it big time!

Turns out the usually […]

Teabaggers Launch Brilliant Counter BUYcott To Show Their Support For Aryanzona's New 'Bye, Bye Brown People' Law

Over the weekend, obese, greasy-haired, middle-aged white men, Ben Franklin-dressed human bags o’ caffeinated herbs ‘n spice, and assorted other ‘Jesus Saves’ t-shirt wearing, toothless patriots of freedom descended on glorious Aryanzona to show support for the state’s new Nazi immigration law, SB-1070, prohibiting brown people from sullying their beautiful parched landscape, by even so […]