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Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, Except If You're Republican & Your Boyfriend Is A Cardboard Cutout Of Barack Obama

It is no secret that Republicans loooove to carry on fake conversations with inanimate objects pretending to be their #1 enemy Barack Hussein Obama. For one thing, they never talk back or flash a charming smile or even so much as a single cogent thought from their non-existent heads. Just the way Republicans […]

West Virginia Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin's Message To Fellow Dems Is The Same As The Rest Of The Nation's Message To West Virginia: Drop Dead

Whoa Easy Now Fellow, Not Too Close!

West Virginia Senator and closet Democrat Joe “Just Like The Plumber” Manchin would like nothing more than to let the good people of his Mountain ‘n Mesothelioma-wracked home state know that despite that dastardly (D) after his name and the fact that he caucuses with the Senate’s […]

Chris Christie Fears Americans Are Turning Into Couch Potatoes, Which He Will Then Deep Fry & Stuff Down His Throat

When not gobbling down Jersey Mike’s subs or helicoptering his hefty load from his Grand Canyon-sized couch to the nearest corrupt, corporate-sponsored, rich person’s bitchfest, New Jersey Gov. of Mass Chris Christie took a moment to warn the good people of AmeriCANT what happens when Uncle Sam meets La-Z-Boy. Other than a bunch of […]

Ron Paul Likes His Airplane Seats Like He Likes His Citizens: In Different Classes

New (Old) Flavor of the Month (white power chocolate mousse) Ron Paul is no stranger to controversy, thanks to his various racist, sexist and otherwise close-minded policies of limited government, even more limited brain power, and the freedom to be as selfish, asshole-ish, or basically Ron Paul-ish as humanly possible.

Like, say, the latest, greatest selection […]

Separation Of Crotch & State: Mississippi Mayor Greg Davis Learns The Hard Way Why City Credit Cards & Gay Sex Shops Don't Mix

Finally, a Christmas story we can all get behind!

It’s been awhile since one of America’s fabulous, self-loathing, Republican closet cases accidentally outed himself by getting caught in some secret gay sexytime scandal (we’re talking months here!), until a dandy Southern gent/failed Congressional candidate/wingnut mayor of Southaven, Mississippi by the name of Greg Davis forgot about […]

Mitt Romney Knows Corporations Are People Too, Which Is Why He Is Officially Registered As A Limited Liability Person

In these trying economic times when money is scarce, jobs even scarcer, and rational behavior crushed and ground into deliciously nutty human tea bags, where o where will we find a presidential candidate fearless enough to stand up for the rights of the biggest victims of all, the poor, sad, helpless, mega-corporations?

Look no further than […]

The Daily Caller Hires Ginni Thomas In The Hopes That She'll Stop Calling Women To Demand Apologies For Being Sexually Harassed By Her Husband

Ginni Thomas, the loyal lobbyist Teabagging wife of Supremely silent and Supremely sexy Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, has taken the next step in her professional journey of weird, quasi-legal, likely immoral influence-peddling conservative jobs, most recently accepting the not-at-all interest conflicting “special correspondent” position at the appropriately special needs wingnut website, The Daily Caller.

Hooray?

That’s […]

The State Of The Nation Is...A Bunch Of Angry White People Shrieking At Muslim Kids Going To A Charity Event For Battered Women & Homeless People

Here in America, there are some otherwise seemingly normal people who, upon, hearing the word Muslim, or seeing an actual woman wearing a burqa, suddenly morph into shrieking mindless mobs of ignorant, intolerant bigoted red, white, ‘n blue wretches who just can’t help but hurl racist, vile things (preferably through a megaphone) at innocent young […]

President Obama Unveils 2012 Budget, Which Republicans Vow To Fund Using Glenn Beck's Gold-Plated Coins, Pixie Dust, & Rosary Beads

President Barack Obama is positively hellbent on “Winning the Future” and in his crazy, radical, hippie-dippie, elitist, Socialist, Muslim, Terrorist world, that entails doing crazy, radical things like making sure America’s kids are educated enough to read, write, and at the very least, spell their offensive, racist protest signs properly, and demanding that U.S. multinational […]

Republican Congressman Chris Lee Resigns Over Sex Scandal Not Even Involving Gays, Animals, Or Crackhead Prostitutes

New York’s finest, freakiest, Craigslist trolling Republican House Representative, Chris Lee, was actually trying to hook up with a human female on the Internet, which is odd because everyone knows Republicans prefer their secret sexytime trysts be with undercover male cops in airport men’s rooms, or at the very least, hot, sexy, underage go-getters padding […]