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New (Old) Flavor of the Month (white power chocolate mousse) Ron Paul is no stranger to controversy, thanks to his various racist, sexist and otherwise close-minded policies of limited government, even more limited brain power, and the freedom to be as selfish, asshole-ish, or basically Ron Paul-ish as humanly possible.
Like, say, the latest, greatest selection [...]
Finally, a Christmas story we can all get behind!
It’s been awhile since one of America’s fabulous, self-loathing, Republican closet cases accidentally outed himself by getting caught in some secret gay sexytime scandal (we’re talking months here!), until a dandy Southern gent/failed Congressional candidate/wingnut mayor of Southaven, Mississippi by the name of Greg Davis forgot about [...]
In these trying economic times when money is scarce, jobs even scarcer, and rational behavior crushed and ground into deliciously nutty human tea bags, where o where will we find a presidential candidate fearless enough to stand up for the rights of the biggest victims of all, the poor, sad, helpless, mega-corporations?
Look no further than [...]
Ginni Thomas, the loyal lobbyist Teabagging wife of Supremely silent and Supremely sexy Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, has taken the next step in her professional journey of weird, quasi-legal, likely immoral influence-peddling conservative jobs, most recently accepting the not-at-all interest conflicting “special correspondent” position at the appropriately special needs wingnut website, The Daily Caller.
Hooray?
That’s [...]
Here in America, there are some otherwise seemingly normal people who, upon, hearing the word Muslim, or seeing an actual woman wearing a burqa, suddenly morph into shrieking mindless mobs of ignorant, intolerant bigoted red, white, ‘n blue wretches who just can’t help but hurl racist, vile things (preferably through a megaphone) at innocent young [...]
President Barack Obama is positively hellbent on “Winning the Future” and in his crazy, radical, hippie-dippie, elitist, Socialist, Muslim, Terrorist world, that entails doing crazy, radical things like making sure America’s kids are educated enough to read, write, and at the very least, spell their offensive, racist protest signs properly, and demanding that U.S. multinational [...]
New York’s finest, freakiest, Craigslist trolling Republican House Representative, Chris Lee, was actually trying to hook up with a human female on the Internet, which is odd because everyone knows Republicans prefer their secret sexytime trysts be with undercover male cops in airport men’s rooms, or at the very least, hot, sexy, underage go-getters padding [...]
Pump up the Gaga, gays and gals who like gals! Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid finally went ahead with a a cloture vote on the defense spending bill, a procedural move effectively allowing a repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell to come to the floor for debate, though fortunately not gay and lesbian soldiers [...]
Look you gays, err guys, the Obama administration like totally wants to abolish that terrible, shameful, discriminatory Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy, 100% for sure without a doubt. They are like totes behind you on that one!
But, here’s the thing. They are very particular when it comes to actually putting this horrible [...]
ANSWER: NONE OF THE ABOVE!
Gay soldiers don’t die, silly, they simply deny!
This just in: President Obama is too pussy to end Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, a policy he thinks is morally reprehensible, constitutionally illegal, and a mockery of justice and equality, but is simply too in love with to be able to quit anyway.
Ummm, hooray??
So, [...]
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