Guns | Democralypse Now - The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites

How Do You Know You're In Alaska? The Writing's On The Wall!

Ah, Alaska, where the snow comes whipping down the plain and year-round, sub-zero winter causes pain!

The majestic land of scantily populated outcasts, grizzled mainland failures, migrating moose, and money-grubbing half-term governors of God ‘n guns, whose idea of publicly funded art isn’t a sidewalk mural or main street sculpture, but misspelled, grammatically incorrect chickenscratch scrawled [...]

Sarah Palin's State Of Her Living Room Address To A Grieving Nation (Psst: Jews Eat Christian Babies!)

Everyone knows that the real victim of the recent tragedy in Arizona isn’t the innocent little 9-year-old girl who was shot dead, the young Democratic congresswoman in critical condition with a bullet lodged inside her brain, or even any of the 20 other individuals killed or wounded at the hands of a Glock-totin’ desert dwelling [...]

Is That A Glock In Your Pocket Or Are You Just A Mentally Ill Misfit From Arizona?

Usually when something shocking and terrible happens, normal people come together to grieve, express their sorrow, and reflect on the unspeakable tragedy in a heartfelt way, if only for a fleeting moment.

Then there’s Arizona’s way.

After witnessing one of their own elected Representatives, Democrat Gabrielle Giffords, and 19 others brutally gunned down in Tuscon by a [...]

Glenn Beck's Fake Tears & Sarah Palin's Dumb Tweets Don't Kill People (Just Brain Cells); Crazy People With Semiautomatic Weapons Do!

Usually when a young 20-something man goes on a bloody shooting rampage, killing a whole bunch of innocent people, everyone is equally shocked and stunned and horrified, and nobody ever, in a million years, saw it coming.

Not so with Jared Loughner, the deranged 22-year-old lunatic who shot Arizona’s popular Democratic Rep. Gabrielle Giffords point blank [...]

A Handy New How-To Wingnut Guide For When The Big Bad Government Comes For Your Innocent Guns

What do you do when some filthy criminal (Black/Liberal/Jew/Mexican/etc) breaks into your house and tries to steal all your God-given guns, Glenn Beck approved gold coins ‘n other precious stuff??

Why, you pick up one of your 99 trusty shotguns decoratively adorning various shelves and cabinets around the house. Then you shoot that trespassing motherf**ker full [...]

Who Would Jesus Shoot? Other Than Bobby Jindal & The Entire Grand Obstructionist Party!

Exercise The (Oil) Demons, Bobby!

Yeeeeehaaaaww America! The moment you’ve been waiting, hoping, and praying for your entire life has finally arrived, and just in the nick of time! In case somethin’ disastrous happens, like say, demonic blobs of British Petroleum ooze up from the shores and burst through your quiet, neighborhood church in Louisiana, threatening [...]

True Men Don't Kill Coyotes, They Crush Hopes & Destroy Dreams

Yeehaw, Cowboy!

Gun totin’, fiercely heterosexual, 100% pure all beef patty of hunky manhood, Texas Governor, slick Rick Perry rarely feels what the rest of us non-laser-sighted pistol carrying losers call fear, deep within his chiseled, manly chest.

But there are times when even a rough ‘n tumble, real Texas man like Rick Perry feels [...]

Mixed Nutz: Hippies Crackin’ Nazis, Almond-Led Gun Nuts Packin’ Heat In Parks, Romney Roastin’ Wingnuts, & Sarah’s Stash Of Cold, Hard Ca$hews

About 40 lame-o white supremacists from some quasi neo-Nazi militia in Detroit headed west to the Mexican haven of Los Angeles to protest all the dirty, gross brown people working, living, and breathing (gasp!) the pure, white air there every day en route to reclaiming the land stolen from them by the evil gringos during [...]