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Glenn Beck Has A Dream...That You Make Him Even Richer By Buying His Dumb Book & Attending His White Power Rally In DC

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s paler, pudgier (un)civil rights “brother” Glenn Lee Beck and his army of Teabaggers will be descending on Washington, DC this weekend to commemorate the anniversary of MLK’s famous “I Have a Dream” speech for whatever reason mobs of angry white men choose to honor the nation’s foremost civil rights activists […]

Bill O' Reilly Is Utterly Offended That The One Thing Glenn Beck Refuses To Act Like A Deranged Mental Patient About Is Gross Gay Marriage

OMG, get your tuxes out, (gay) ladies and gentleman who reside in the soon-to-be same-sex cesspool of sin & sodomy of Gayifornia!

A week after permanently destroying the moral fabric of America with one stroke of his Prop 8-killing gavel, Judge Vaughn Walker, elitist liberal activist Judge Vaughn Walker has struck at the heart of hetero […]

Surely, Glenn Beck Likening Obama's Presidency To Evil Gorillas Enslaving Human Kind Has Nothing To Do With Race

When pudgy albino reminder of what happens when traumatic childhood meets troubled, emotionally unstable, born-again adulthood, Glenn Lee Beck, hits the airwaves, the result is usually an alternately comical and tragic mixture of hilarious nonsense tinged with saline tears, and culminating in the deranged rantings of a paranoid schizophrenic with a deep-seated hatred for black […]

A Handy New How-To Wingnut Guide For When The Big Bad Government Comes For Your Innocent Guns

What do you do when some filthy criminal (Black/Liberal/Jew/Mexican/etc) breaks into your house and tries to steal all your God-given guns, Glenn Beck approved gold coins ‘n other precious stuff??

Why, you pick up one of your 99 trusty shotguns decoratively adorning various shelves and cabinets around the house. Then you shoot that trespassing motherf**ker full […]

Will 1,000,000 Facebook Prayers Be Enough To Save Dearest Glenn Beck From Becoming America’s Favoritest Blind Prophet?

When we were hit with the devastating news that the oracle of the ages, the spiritual eyes of loyal Christian patriots around the world, Glenn Lee Beck, may or may not go blind within the next year, we could hardly believe our still-functioning ears!

Not Glenn Lee Beck, the beautiful blond-haired, blue-but-maybe-also-blind-eyed divine angel of truth […]

“I See (Gold!),” Said The Blind Man!

Living legend and divine messenger Glenn Lee Beck is under investigation for his Goldline International scam, and also could go blind within a year, though, apparently it is not related to scamming people into buying worthless faux gold coins.

Talk about a rough week!

California authorities have launched an investigation into claims that Goldline International—the […]

Creepy Clown Lady Wants You To Help Make Glenn Beck America's New George Washington In 2012!

OMG! Run for your lives!!!!!!!

What’s the only thing more terrifying than a deranged rodeo clown drawing swastikas on blackboards, err, on second thought, better make that chalkboards, weeping Vicks VapoRub tears on the teevee every night?

A slutty female(?) prostitute version of said rodeo clown wearing 10lbs of costume makeup, a straw hat, and organizing […]

Glenn Beck University: A Higher Education For Those With Higher Callings & Even Higher Doses Of Antipsychotics

Why waste your time spending oodles of your precious, hard-earned money on those arugula-eating, elitist institutions with their liberal values (abortions & homos!) and hoity-toity academic accreditations? When for just a fraction of the cost you can get all that and more!

Welcome to the brand spanking-new manifestation of Glenn Beck’s alcohol and drug ravaged, born […]

When Not Crying, Glenn Beck Does Important Things Like Mocking 11-Year-Old First Daughters Named Malia

No one really expects fallen drunkard turned born again Moron Mormon rodeo clown Glenn Beck to act like anything other than a circus sideshow freak who just got his hands on the miraculous twin inventions of the chalkboard and accompanying white tube with which to write.

So it really comes as no surprise that America’s chubby, […]

$arah Palin's Newest Much-Anticipated Tribute To Hooked-On-Phonics Hits Shelves In November

So little time, so much money to be made! Whatever is a gal to do?

Well, if that gal happens to be a certain Arctic princess and Alaskan cash cow by the name of $arah Palin, then you betcha she’ll be moo, baby mooing all the way to the friggin’ bank!

Because the woman can literally do […]