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OMG, get your tuxes out, (gay) ladies and gentleman who reside in the soon-to-be same-sex cesspool of sin & sodomy of Gayifornia! A week after permanently destroying the moral fabric of America with one stroke of his Prop 8-killing gavel, Judge Vaughn Walker, elitist liberal activist Judge Vaughn Walker has struck at the heart of hetero [...] When we were hit with the devastating news that the oracle of the ages, the spiritual eyes of loyal Christian patriots around the world, Glenn Lee Beck, may or may not go blind within the next year, we could hardly believe our still-functioning ears! Not Glenn Lee Beck, the beautiful blond-haired, blue-but-maybe-also-blind-eyed divine angel of truth [...] Living legend and divine messenger Glenn Lee Beck is under investigation for his Goldline International scam, and also could go blind within a year, though, apparently it is not related to scamming people into buying worthless faux gold coins. Talk about a rough week! California authorities have launched an investigation into claims that Goldline International—the [...] OMG! Run for your lives!!!!!!! What’s the only thing more terrifying than a deranged rodeo clown drawing swastikas on blackboards, err, on second thought, better make that chalkboards, weeping Vicks VapoRub tears on the teevee every night? A slutty female(?) prostitute version of said rodeo clown wearing 10lbs of costume makeup, a straw hat, and organizing [...] Why waste your time spending oodles of your precious, hard-earned money on those arugula-eating, elitist institutions with their liberal values (abortions & homos!) and hoity-toity academic accreditations? When for just a fraction of the cost you can get all that and more! Welcome to the brand spanking-new manifestation of Glenn Beck’s alcohol and drug ravaged, born [...] So little time, so much money to be made! Whatever is a gal to do? Well, if that gal happens to be a certain Arctic princess and Alaskan cash cow by the name of $arah Palin, then you betcha she’ll be moo, baby mooing all the way to the friggin’ bank! Because the woman can literally do [...] Wingnuts from sea to shining sea, across this great land, are coming out in droves over the arrest of would-be Times Square bomber Faisal Shahzad, each with their own unique perspective on how best to (mis)treat this awful terror suspect, and deny him his constitutional rights as a naturalized American citizen. Hooray! But with so many [...] |
 Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.       
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