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Welcome To Glennbeckistan: Once You Go Beck You Never Go Back!

Insane person and human tear factory Glenn Beck took time from scribbling conspiracy theories on chalk boards to introduce America to his latest, greatest, delusional attempt to bilk hardworking people out of millions of dollars create a libertarian community of crazies, the Ayn Rand-inspired utopia of guns and personal responsibility known as Glennbeckistan!

On […]

Wet Hot American Summer: The Lord Of The (Right-Wing) Flies

Is your child’s summer camp a bit too…umm shall we say, foreign? Are their cabin mates a tad diverse, counselors a bit too Kenyan for your liking?

Well, fear not, fellow patriots! Because the Tampa Liberty School, a 5-day summer camp designed to
to scrub the political correctness out of children’s tender, pre-liberal brainwashed minds, is […]

OMG, Glenn Beck's Deteriorating Ratings (& Mind!) May Get Him Dropped From Fox In A Massive Conspiracy To Stop It From Being The Golden-Voiced Homeless Man Of News Networks

There goes the price of gold gold-plated coins!

The arugula-eating liberal elitists over at the New York Times have peered into their (Swarovski) crystal ball to see what the future holds for America’s #1 favoritest golden haired weeping prophet of doom, Glenn Beck, and his one-man amateur puppet show/truth crusade at Fox News.

And much like the […]

President Obama Unveils 2012 Budget, Which Republicans Vow To Fund Using Glenn Beck's Gold-Plated Coins, Pixie Dust, & Rosary Beads

President Barack Obama is positively hellbent on “Winning the Future” and in his crazy, radical, hippie-dippie, elitist, Socialist, Muslim, Terrorist world, that entails doing crazy, radical things like making sure America’s kids are educated enough to read, write, and at the very least, spell their offensive, racist protest signs properly, and demanding that U.S. multinational […]

Glenn Beck's Fake Tears & Sarah Palin's Dumb Tweets Don't Kill People (Just Brain Cells); Crazy People With Semiautomatic Weapons Do!

Usually when a young 20-something man goes on a bloody shooting rampage, killing a whole bunch of innocent people, everyone is equally shocked and stunned and horrified, and nobody ever, in a million years, saw it coming.

Not so with Jared Loughner, the deranged 22-year-old lunatic who shot Arizona’s popular Democratic Rep. Gabrielle Giffords point blank […]

Ignorance Is Freedom! New Poll Proves Fox News Viewers Are The Dumbest, Most Uninformed People In The World, Right After Fox News' Hosts

But why do the poll numbers add up to 120%, mommy? Because junior, everyone knows 100% is for pussies, math geeks, and lame-o Democrats. Not for hot, sexy Fox News, the undisputed leader in feigned 9/11 outrage, shamelessly bad graphics, mentally unstable news anchors, and baseless lies and mistruths, proudly poisoning America since 1996!

And now […]

Glenn Beck Cannot Possibly Die, Because Death Is For Mere Mortals, Not Blind Prophets On The Sacred Path To Involuntary Commitment

Holy Mental Mormons! Blond haired angel of truth and possibly soon-to-be blind prophet Glenn Beck took to his favoritest radio show, his own, to reveal some very startling news: the divine messenger himself, Glenn Lee Beck, may be dying! OMG!

Err, at least we think so, as Glenn Beck is being very cryptic about the whole […]

Glenn Beck & Sarah Palin Know The Best Way To Honor 9/11 Victims Is To Score As Much Dirty, Sexy Money Off The Poor Schmucks As Possible!

In “honor” of the thousands of innocent American civilians murdered nine years ago, on that fateful autumn day in 2001, überpatriots Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck will be a holding their own personal 9/11 event in Alaska to “honor” their own uncanny ability to dupe the dumb public into pouring moose piles of dirty money into […]

Ugh, Why Won't Obama Walk Around With His Birth Certificate Plastered On His Forehead, Or At Least A Tea Bag To Blend In?

If you thought being a black man in America was hard, try being a black president in America and let me know how that feels. You can’t even begin to imagine the kind of nonsense the dude has to go through every single f-ing day, and that’s not even including Orange Boehners in Congress, BP […]

America's Special People & Living Warnings Against The Dangers Of KFC Arrive For Beckapalooza

Hark, ye caffeinated patriots of the revolution! Rise up, err, or umm remain seated, ye lardbottoms on your ridiculous scooters, paid for by NObama’s Socialist Medicare, so you can stay politically active while remaining aerobically inactive, like true freedom fighters fulfilling MLK’s dream of equality and saturated-fat clogged arteries.

Woohoo!

On this most historic, miraculous God & […]