Categories

Archives

Traditionally Dumb Indiana High School Teacher Demands Traditional Prom Free From Gross Gay Kids

Ooooh look, America, another day, another crazy Christian crusadin’ against them darn gays and lezzies! But don’t get mad at her for hatin’ on the hell-bound homosexuals and their deviant lifestyles, get mad at God for making them that way.

You know, deep, sensitive, progressive, fashion-forward, freshly groomed and all the other terrible ways […]

Florida Republican Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll Couldn't Possibly Be A Lesbian Because She's Not Ugly, Single, Or Dressed In Cargo Pants & Flannel

It’s getting steamy in the Sunshine state—and it’s not just the rising mercury levels getting the good citizens all hot ‘n bothered.

No ma’am! (Or, in this case, more like wham bam thank you ma’am!).

Because the only thing sexier than a closeted Republican getting caught with his pants down is a closeted Republican getting […]

Utah's GOP Chair's Awful, Illiterate Wife Reminds The Nation Why You Should Never Let A Gay On The Ballot Or Get An Education In Utah

Fred Karger, you know, the openly gay Republican who is still “running” for president (adorable, right?) even though everyone knows the only gay Republicans who exist are the secret, self-hating, hiding-in-Marcus-Bachmann’s-closet kind.

Well, apparantly Fred didn’t get the memo that his Grand Old Party of bigots and hypocrites don’t much care for him or the rest […]

The Kids Are All Right, Just Not This Freaky 14-Year-Old Homophobic Radio Host From West Virginia

Kids these days! When not pouring liquor into their eyeballs or guzzling bottles of hand sanitizer while planking off a guard rail 50 stories in the air, they’re doing CRAZY things like, oh I don’t know, coming to terms with their own scary, confusing (anything-but-homo)sexuality.

Like 14-year-old West Virginian and Glenn Beck/Rush Limbaugh/Pope Pius […]

Michele Bachmann Knows Her Campaign Was "Mistake-Free" In The Same Way Her Husband Is Gay-Free

Michele, my (liberty) belle. How nice it must be to live in an alternate dimension, one where sexy, straight-as-pray-the-gay-away homosexual conversion therapists make the perfect hubbies (not to mention personal stylists!) and loony, pill-popping, Migraine-suffering (and inducing!), unhinged gaffe-magnets come thisclose to winning the Republican nomination courtesy of their near-flawless campaign.

Ignorance Psychosis is bliss, […]

Mitt Romney Sticks To His "It Gets Worse" Campaign, Bravely Allowing His Gay Adviser To Be Bullied Out Of His Job

Oh no-zees! Looks like the constant spew of homophobic outrage from the strictly heterosexual, not-at-all-suspiciously-anal-sex-obsessed closet cases on the right over Mitt Romney’s hiring of an openly gay campaign adviser has worked its wondrous, sodomite-busting charms.

Apparently, the yelling was so loud about Mittens’ decision to hire a known homosexual to advise him on the GOP’s […]

Chris Christie Vows To Reject New Jersey Gay Marriage Law Faster Than A Jenny Craig Diet

Rejoice gays and gayettes! New Jersey’s Senate passed a gay marriage bill today! Now it will shimmy-shake its fabulous self on down to the State Assembly, which will pass it, because why the hell not? From there it will shake its groove thing over to the desk of New Jersey Governor of Sandwiches Fat Fattie […]

Rick Santorum Is Frothing Mad That Equal Rights For All Applies To Weird, Scary (Tempting?) Homosexuals

Stripped away, really Rick? Stripped? No sexual connotation there.

Wait, what? Apparently, Rick “Google me at your own risk” Santorum confuses restoring rights with destroying rights. Or at least when it comes to gross gays and lezzies who Rick knows shouldn’t be allowed to get gross gay-married or do anything except get ridiculed, marginalized, and discriminated […]

Separation Of Crotch & State: Mississippi Mayor Greg Davis Learns The Hard Way Why City Credit Cards & Gay Sex Shops Don't Mix

Finally, a Christmas story we can all get behind!

It’s been awhile since one of America’s fabulous, self-loathing, Republican closet cases accidentally outed himself by getting caught in some secret gay sexytime scandal (we’re talking months here!), until a dandy Southern gent/failed Congressional candidate/wingnut mayor of Southaven, Mississippi by the name of Greg Davis forgot about […]

Obama Administration Announces Global Quest To Save Gay People; Rick Perry Denounces It In Personal Quest To Save Himself From Seeming Like A Good Person

Normal, sane folk who don’t convulse uncontrollably at the idea of actually making dare I say, progress in the treatment of fellow human beings, felt an overwhelming sense of pride as Barack Obama announced that the United States “would use all the tools of American diplomacy, including the potent enticement of foreign aid, to promote […]