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Illinois House Approves Same-Sex Marriage, Proving The State's Bankruptcy Is Limited To Money Not Morals

Rejoice, America because Illinois could become the tenth state (11th including Washington, DC) to join the 21st century and extend gays and lesbians the right to to be as miserable and undersexed as the rest of straight America in holy, blessed matrimony, likely followed by bitter divorce.

The same-sex marriage bill, which passed the senate two […]

Supreme Court To Decide If Gays Deserve To Be As Miserable & Undersexed As The Rest Of America

Hooray homosexuals, the magical time has come! The Supreme Court has finally decided to hear your queer cases about all the queer things you gays do, like gay serve in the military and get gay-married, in the hopes of maybe one day being treated like a normal, non-gay citizen of the United States […]

Americans Flock To Chick-Fil-A To Show Their Appreciation Of Adam & Eve And Adult-Onset Diabetes

Howdy, Ame-rik-A! Do you know what special day it is today? Why, it’s Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, when thousands of Real Americans everywhere (but mostly in Real America) waddle, plod, trudge, and motorscoot their supersized behinds to the nearest drive-thru window to stick it to the queers and stuff chicken sandwiches down their throats, for Jesus.

I […]

Democrats Put Marriage Equality Where Their Mouth Is While Republicans Slurp Secret Sauce & Pound Patties To Prove Deep-Fried Discrimination Is Finger-Lickin' Good

Increasingly irrelevant Sarah Palin’s increasingly desperate grifter tour quest for attention included a quick stop at a Texas Chick-fil-A to “support a great business”, munch on a deliciously diabetic, deep-fried chicken sandwich, and of course, to tell the terrible homosexuals “I hate you,” without saying, “homosexuals, I hate you.”

Ah yes, the perfect fast food for […]

What The Cluck, Huck? Mike Huckabee Gets Behind Chick-Fil-A's Anti-Gay CEO (But Not In A Gay Way)

If there’s one person who appreciates a fast food company that sticks to their butter-slathered buns when it comes to discrimination, it is former/current fat person Mike Huckabee.

It’s not just the delectably breaded, pickle-topped, fried chicken(ish) sandwiches or those deliciously greasy, salty waffle fries that’s got Huckabee Huckahooked, but the delectably batsh*t, homophobic ramblings of […]

Let's Do The Time Warp Again: President Obama Evolves Back To 1996, Now Supports Marriage For All (Even Gays!!)

Woohoo! Congratulations, Gays and Gayettes! President Barack Obama Glama has finally come out of the closet on his very controversial belief that gay men and women should have the same marriage rights as Kim Kardashian and that one tall goofy looking fellow on Jay-Z’s team, Kris Humptydumpty or whatever.

Thus, President Obama’s evolution back […]

Michele Bachmann Generously Offers To Let Gays Get Straight Married, Just Like Marcus Bachmann Did!

Minnesota hellwoman and (un)equal rights warrior Michele Bachmann is no stranger to fighting for the little people, those least able to speak for themselves, like the li’l fairy living inside Marcus and the various insane voices living inside her head.

Which is why Michele is working hard to ensure that the civil rights of all Americans […]

Tea Party Leader Takes Pro-Bullying Stance Towards Gay Teens Because He Loves Freedom...The Freedom To Hate Anyone Not Straight, White, & Deeply In Denial

In these contentious times, there are only so many uncontroversial statements a person can make that pretty much everyone can agree with, like say, “cancer is a terrible disease” or “kicking defenseless puppies in the face is wrong” or “the abuse of children is a terrible thing.”

Umm, wait, except that last one, if you’re evil, […]

New York Says I Do To Gay Marriage, While Republicans Say I Don't To Any & All Rational Thought

OMG, people, GAY is now officially legal in New York!

They’re here, they’re queer, and they’re coming to a gift registry near you!

Now that New York has reclaimed the mantle of progress and equality from it’s once-hip, now tragically Mormon, Prop 8 populated friend, California, and become the sixth state to give those pesky gays the […]

For Once Sarah Palin Actually Stands On The Right Side Of History; Like Always She Manages To Offend Us All

Retired snow bunny, current reality teevee star, and president of Twitterbook, Sarah Louise Palin, is trying her very hardest to be taken seriously as a real, electable politician! Mostly by alternating her precious time pallin’ around bein’ free with Kate Gosselin in majestic, wild Alaska and tweeting 140-character gibberish no one understands all so she […]