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Illinois House Approves Same-Sex Marriage, Proving The State's Bankruptcy Is Limited To Money Not Morals

Rejoice, America because Illinois could become the tenth state (11th including Washington, DC) to join the 21st century and extend gays and lesbians the right to to be as miserable and undersexed as the rest of straight America in holy, blessed matrimony, likely followed by bitter divorce.

The same-sex marriage bill, which passed the senate two […]

Supreme Court To Decide If Gays Deserve To Be As Miserable & Undersexed As The Rest Of America

Hooray homosexuals, the magical time has come! The Supreme Court has finally decided to hear your queer cases about all the queer things you gays do, like gay serve in the military and get gay-married, in the hopes of maybe one day being treated like a normal, non-gay citizen of the United States […]

Anti-Gay Protester Sets Fire To Box Of Cheerios, Bringing New Meaning To The Word "Flamer"

Nothing, I say, nothing says ‘heterosexual’ more than a bronzed man in a pink button down with his sleeves rolled up three-quarters, trying (*and failing) to light a box of “homosexual” Cheerios on fire to protest General Mills’ pro-marriage equality stance, which much like another man, he simply cannot get behind!

“One out of […]

Rand Paul Doesn't Think Obama's Views On Marriage Could Get Any Gayer, Much Like His Skin Color Couldn't Get Any Blacker

If there’s one thing America simply cannot get enough of, it is the rich, racist, radical Kentucky-fried-son-of-a-wingnut whose not-so-evolved views on homosexuality and civil rights make even his ancient cryptkeeper father, Papa Ron, seem normal by comparison.

Almost.

Good thing Rand Paul will do whatever it takes, blurt whatever comes out of his big, white power […]

Let's Do The Time Warp Again: President Obama Evolves Back To 1996, Now Supports Marriage For All (Even Gays!!)

Woohoo! Congratulations, Gays and Gayettes! President Barack Obama Glama has finally come out of the closet on his very controversial belief that gay men and women should have the same marriage rights as Kim Kardashian and that one tall goofy looking fellow on Jay-Z’s team, Kris Humptydumpty or whatever.

Thus, President Obama’s evolution back […]

Chris Christie Vows To Reject New Jersey Gay Marriage Law Faster Than A Jenny Craig Diet

Rejoice gays and gayettes! New Jersey’s Senate passed a gay marriage bill today! Now it will shimmy-shake its fabulous self on down to the State Assembly, which will pass it, because why the hell not? From there it will shake its groove thing over to the desk of New Jersey Governor of Sandwiches Fat Fattie […]

Rick Santorum Is Frothing Mad That Equal Rights For All Applies To Weird, Scary (Tempting?) Homosexuals

Stripped away, really Rick? Stripped? No sexual connotation there.

Wait, what? Apparently, Rick “Google me at your own risk” Santorum confuses restoring rights with destroying rights. Or at least when it comes to gross gays and lezzies who Rick knows shouldn’t be allowed to get gross gay-married or do anything except get ridiculed, marginalized, and discriminated […]

Michele Bachmann Generously Offers To Let Gays Get Straight Married, Just Like Marcus Bachmann Did!

Minnesota hellwoman and (un)equal rights warrior Michele Bachmann is no stranger to fighting for the little people, those least able to speak for themselves, like the li’l fairy living inside Marcus and the various insane voices living inside her head.

Which is why Michele is working hard to ensure that the civil rights of all Americans […]

New York Says I Do To Gay Marriage, While Republicans Say I Don't To Any & All Rational Thought

OMG, people, GAY is now officially legal in New York!

They’re here, they’re queer, and they’re coming to a gift registry near you!

Now that New York has reclaimed the mantle of progress and equality from it’s once-hip, now tragically Mormon, Prop 8 populated friend, California, and become the sixth state to give those pesky gays the […]

Bill O' Reilly Is Utterly Offended That The One Thing Glenn Beck Refuses To Act Like A Deranged Mental Patient About Is Gross Gay Marriage

OMG, get your tuxes out, (gay) ladies and gentleman who reside in the soon-to-be same-sex cesspool of sin & sodomy of Gayifornia!

A week after permanently destroying the moral fabric of America with one stroke of his Prop 8-killing gavel, Judge Vaughn Walker, elitist liberal activist Judge Vaughn Walker has struck at the heart of hetero […]