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"It Was A Dark And Stormy (Election) Night..."

Gather ‘Round Children, It’s Democrat Scary Story Time!

“When suddenly the most hideous, deformed, terrifying, socially backwards monster-in-a-sweater-vest appeared out of the abyss (of rural Pennsylvania) to STEAL THE ELECTION and terrorize the nation’s fashion sense.  And no woman’s sex organ is safe from THE CLAW! AAAAAGGGHHHH!”

Where the Wild Things Are? In Rick Santorum’s […]

Newt Gingrich Knows The Real Tragedy In Trayvon Martin's Murder Is That A Black Man Is President

While Fox News America was busy mourning the death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin by blaming the usual suspects like hooded sweatshirts and bags of skittles, instead of say, racist, heavily-armed, self-appointed, white supremacist neighborhood watchmen with nothing better to do than hunt down and kill black teenagers for sport, other people like President Barack Obama […]

People Of The Sunshine State: Sarah Palin Urges America To Rage Against The Machine (& All Rational Thought) And Make Newt The Man

Former reality teevee star and failed vice-president, governor, political pundit, mother, grifter, fame whore, EVERYTHING, Sarah Palin, took a break from the usual Facebook trolling and illiterate Tweeting to continue her bizarre quest endorsing Newt Gingrich because of some on-again, off-again, leftist hard rock band from the ’90s. Or something like that.

Here’s Mama Grizz herself […]

Poll: Fox News Viewers Less Informed Than Those Who Read No News; Which Is Weird Because Fox News Hosts Believe Pepper Spray Is A "Food Product, Essentially"

OMG, did you hear the crazy, Earth-shattering, mind-blowing news? No, no not that fat, crazed, out-of-control cops are pepper-spraying college students eyeballs out, macing old ladies, stomping on peaceful protesters, billy clubbing defenseless women and children, and bloodying the faces of law-abiding citizens in every major city around the country. The other headline-busting story about […]

Fox News Outraged That Barack Obama Had The Nerve To Invite Black People As Guests, Not Servers, To His Birthday Party

While the economy continued its downward hell spiral thanks to Standard & Poor’s (really, that’s the best name you could come up with? Really?) very responsible decision to downgrade America’s debt and grind it into highly toxic, spite-flavored tea leaves for Republican enjoyment, Fox News was busy thinking up the most offensive, racist headline their […]

Fox News Celebrates The Birth Of America By Tweeting The Death Of Obama

Howdy, America! While you were temporarily freed from the shackles of your office cubicle in order to patriotically guzzle beer, shove burgers into your mouth, and light sparkly red, white, and blue trinkets that explode in the sky in celebration of our nation’s Independence from elitist accents, crumpets, bad teeth the British, Fox News was […]

The Grifters Are Coming, The Grifters Are Coming! Sarah Palin Revisits Paul Revere's Famous Midnight Ride

World famous historian and renowned tour guide Sarah Palin continues to crisscross America in a rented tour bus to help bring knowledge (and laughter!) to the nation on her unique, one-woman quest to make history as the first woman to serve as Commander in Chief cause the nation’s collective IQ to drop a couple of […]

For Once Arkansas Schoolchildren Accomplish Something Besides Morbid Obesity & Lifelong Illiteracy

Much to the rest of the nation’s shock and dismay, school kids in the tiny backwater town of Russellville, Arkansas actually managed to learn something during their early years of sub-par public education, other than how to torture small animals and harass anyone whose skin isn’t perfectly milky white like Jesus intended.

It’s true!

The precocious li’l […]

Sarah Palin Says Aloud What The Rest Of Us Silently Wondered, Is Libya A War Or A Squirmish?

Leading Shakespearean scholar and philosopher of Facebook, Dr. Sarah Louise Palin is very confused about what the dickens is going on over in Liberia, err, Latvia, wait, or was it Libya (she can never remember!), and not just because she’s a stupid snowbilly grifter whose IQ is the same number as the average winter […]

In Megyn Kelly's World, Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, They Make A Fox News Segment!

Fox News reporter Megyn Kelly has a question: “A man beats a 100 pound woman into a coma over a parking space. He claims she deserves it. Could he be right? In Kelly’s Court!”

I don’t know, could he be right? Wait, did you say it was over a parking space? So, umm, in that case, […]