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Hurricane Trump Roars Through Florida, Tells Rich Lady Arianna To Huff Off On Twitter

Comic book villain and talking hairpiece The Donald Trump took to the Twitternets to discuss the relative bangability of non-paying, celebrity sideboob blogmaster extraordinaire, Arianna Huffington.

And guess what, Arianna, you’re fired!

Except for beautiful wifeys #1 & #3, women with accents make him sicker than that Socialist negro NOBAMA in the White House.

Which is […]

Florida Republican Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll Couldn't Possibly Be A Lesbian Because She's Not Ugly, Single, Or Dressed In Cargo Pants & Flannel

It’s getting steamy in the Sunshine state—and it’s not just the rising mercury levels getting the good citizens all hot ‘n bothered.

No ma’am! (Or, in this case, more like wham bam thank you ma’am!).

Because the only thing sexier than a closeted Republican getting caught with his pants down is a closeted Republican getting […]

People Of The Sunshine State: Sarah Palin Urges America To Rage Against The Machine (& All Rational Thought) And Make Newt The Man

Former reality teevee star and failed vice-president, governor, political pundit, mother, grifter, fame whore, EVERYTHING, Sarah Palin, took a break from the usual Facebook trolling and illiterate Tweeting to continue her bizarre quest endorsing Newt Gingrich because of some on-again, off-again, leftist hard rock band from the ’90s. Or something like that.

Here’s Mama Grizz herself […]

Elton Asks Rush "Can You Feel The Love Tonight?" Or At Least Until The Next Gold Digging Trophy Wife Comes Along

Adorable cuddlebug and melodious voice of right-wing nutjobs, teabaggers, and retired Klansmen from sea to shining sea, Rush Hudson Limbaugh III finally achieved his life-long dream to be married more times than numbers in his name. Woohoo!!

This is no easy feat, my friends! But Rushy couldn’t have reached this impressive once-in-a-lifetime once-every-couple-of-years milestone without the […]

Dan Fanelli Needs Your Help To Make Florida The Next Great, Colorless State No One Likes Anymore

Some right-wing dingbat by the name of Dan Fanelli dreamt up a brilliant plan to win the GOP nomination and unseat terrible, outspoken liberal “BUM” Rep. Alan Grayson in sunny Florida, land of citrus groves, gated retirement communities, and old people barely tall enough to see over the steering wheel, using nothing but people’s unsavory […]

Sorry Charlie! One Down, Only 18,537,969 More Car Crash Victims To Save Before Election Day

Much Like Their Oranges, Florida’s Lawmakers Are Sweet, Fruity & Immediately Shipped Out

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist’s wild journey from rising Republican star to terrible persona non grata was made official the moment he went “Indy” and turned Florida’s once moral, decent, family-values two-way Senate race into a sinful, filthy ménage à trois, unbecoming of […]

Oil's Well That Ends Well...Or In Total Disaster! Just Ask Charlie Crist Or Charlie The Tuna

Drill, Baby, Drill! Drill, Baby, Drill! Drill, Baby, Drill!

Everyone knows environmental conservation and coastal drilling go together like, well, water and oil, especially the more than 200,000 gallons spilling into the Gulf of Mexico every day, after another one of those really safe, technologically sound British Petroleum-leased oil rigs exploded, killing 11 workers and spewing […]

The Doctor Is In...Sane? Denial? Hysterics?

Lunatic witch doctor Jack Cassell of Mount Dora, Florida (that’s right, Dora) is so convinced it’s only a matter of time before President Obama’s apocalyptic health care reform will be used by our sadistic Democratic government to deny medical care to fellow, God-fearing Republicans, that he has decided to turn the tables (in his mind) […]