Categories

Archives

The Show May Be Over, But Traitor Joe's Always Open For Business (If That Business Is Screwing Over Democrats)

There is nothing, I repeat, nothing Sen. Joe Lieberman enjoys more than crushing hopes and destroying dreams. Except maybe the occasional chance to kick a whimpering, defenseless puppy down the street or really stick it to Democrats, ya know, the party he joined in 1970 and represented as a vice presidential candidate in 2000, before […]

Oy Vey! Since Weiner's Unkosher, Ultra-Orthodox Jews In New York Help Elect A Different Kind Of Prick: A Republican!

OMG, did you hear the news, America? The mind-blowing, earth-shattering, life-altering, universe-imploding news straight out of Anthony Weiner’s pants New York’s 9th about Barack Obama being un-elected, thanks to a special election to replace fallen Democratic cocktease, err congressman, and Twitterin’ fool, Anthony Weiner with someone a little less circumcised and a little more racist.

Hooray??

You […]

Tough Guy Rahm Emanuel Kicked Off Chicago Mayoral Ballot By F**king Appellate Court; Unlike Jay Cutler, Rahmbo Refuses To Go Down Without A Fight!

OMG Chicago, did you hear da awful, terrible, no-good news??

No, no, not that Bears QB Jay Cutler might have torn his MCL along with the entire state of Illinois’ heart out of its chest before pouting cold and alone on the sidelines in Sunday’s painful loss to the hated, rival Green Bay Packers.

The other no-good, […]

Unemployed Strategist Meghan McCain Wants To Use Her Big Breasts, Err, Brain To Help Republicans "Kick Obama's Ass" In 2012

OMG, alert the press! Alleged political pundit, “Dirty Sexy Politics” author, and racy boob Twitpic extraordinaire Meghan McCain is currently available as a “strategist” for the 2012 elections, just in case any Republicans would like some help losing their various presidential bids.

But act fast because this dynamo political mind, which went a whopping 1-for-5 in […]

Sarah Palin Is Confident She Can Beat Barack Obama; Good Thing Sarah Palin's Reality Only Exists On TV

OMG America, did you hear the awesome, exciting, Earth-shattering news?? Sarah Louise Palin, the Sarah Louise Palin of the Snowy North, is “seriously considering” running for President of the world in 2012!?

WOOHOO!!!

Oh, and no need to wish her luck either because SarBear is simply positive she’ll have no trouble beating that no-good Barack NObama has-been […]

GOP Rep. Spencer Bachus Finds Out The Hard Way What Happens When Silly Swamp Rats Make Mama Grizzly Mad, Very Mad!

The world’s widely beloved Arctic snow drifter, the most perfect specimen since Jesus Christ Himself, Sarah Louise Palin, lent her ingenuity and grace to this year’s Senate elections, endorsing several choice candidates, many of whom were spectacularly defeated, most by embarrassingly wide margins.

In several instances, Sarah’s unwelcome and idiotic intrusion into the electoral landscape cost […]

What America Needs Now Is A Smug Quitter Like Evan Bayh Who Doesn't Know How To Say Bye-Bye Lecturing Democrats How To Become Rightwing Republicans

What America needs now, more than anything (jobs even!) is a smug, smarmy, sleazeball sellout like former Sen. Evan Bayh writing a guest op-ed in the elitist liberal rag, The New York Times to lecture his fellow Democrats about why they too must become a conservative party of far right wingnuts if they ever hope […]

Bummer Bones Barack EMObama's Sorry He's Not A Dumb White Republican Who Bankrupts America & Bombs Everyone Else

Long-faced loser President Barack EMObama moped around the White House yesterday, making his obligatory big post-election press conference about how bad it feels to get shellacked, before putting on his old Bulls sweatsuit, plopping on the West Wing couch and stuffing his face with arugula chips and Ben & Jerry’s for the next two years […]

The Orangeman Cometh...To Walk The Line Or Burn Down The House?

Get excited America, because last night was the night Republicans “took back Washington” from smart presidents with scary brown skin, wrested control of the House from that no-good Nazi Pelosi lady always prattling on about silly things like equality and helping those gross poors and gays, and with the blessings of Jesus Christ, the bear […]

Joe Miller Loves Freedom So Much, He'll Take Away Yours Just For Asking Too Many Meany Questions

If you are a no-good, arugula-eating, non-mammal killing journylist in the Great State of Alaska and maybe wanna ask the actual Republican running for U.S. Senate, Joe ‘Grizzly Beard’ Miller, a question or two after a town hall meeting at an Anchorage middle school, consider yourself forewarned, my friend!

“We’ve drawn a line in the […]