Rejoice America! Because yesterday, while Senate Republicans — some of the most sexually open, secure people in the entire world — were patriotically filibustering the very idea of debating the possibility of maybe repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, giving terrible gays and lezzies the right to die for their country, the Grand Obstructionist Party were [...]
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OMG! Guess what little gay and lezzy monsters across America?? Your little “rights” struggles are over! Done, dunzo, finito, Ga-Ga-gonzo! Oh, wait never mind, you’re all still totally screwed, despite Lady Gaga donning a hotttt meat dress, and p-p-p-poking her face all around Maine, trying to convince the last two “moderate” (aka not completely insane) Senator [...] The Jesus Christ moral patrol on the right and assorted other Earthly messengers of God are always prattling on and on about how wicked gays are sashaying across America trying to gay marry and gay soldier, and basically spread their gross gayness on decent, upstanding straights from San Francisco to Soho. This aggression cannot stand! Before we [...] OMG, so like in case you were wondering just who that fashionable hairdresser on the far right of the picture is, and whether his tight l’il behind is available, newsflash!, that colorful ball of fabulousness is none other than conservative GOP congressman of Illinois, Aaron Schock! And perhaps the only thing more schocking than his flamboyant [...] It’s been several days, (weeks even!) since the last prominent, vehemently anti-gay Republican got outed as a secret, terrible homosexual. This is highly unusual! So, naturally the time has come to unveil the latest member of the “is-he-or-isn’t-he-a-secret-gay-hypocrite-club,” Illinois Republican and military award exaggerator extraordinaire, the one, the only, Mark Steven Kirk. Hooray! It’s [...] On this darkest of days when freedom died all because evil, liberal lawmakers threatening to repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell went ahead and did just that, voting 16-12 to let deviant homosexuals come ever closer to openly serving as an out ‘n proud queer in the United States military, A Few Good Men are bravely [...] OMG! Did you hear the amazing, Earth-shattering news? Barack Obama has finally given the ol’ presidential stamp of approval on a compromise to repeal the Pentagon’s wonderful “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy, which effectively bars gross gay people from risking their pathetic, sinful lives and serve in the United States military, like the rest of [...] |
 Democralypse Now is an equal-opportunity satirist exposing stupidity in government and politics, one hilariously scathing post at a time. Like Stephen Colbert, only hotter.       
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