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Two Bombs Don't Make A Right: The Only Similarity Between Newt Gingrich's Campaign & Pearl Harbor Is The Pricey New Tiffany Pearls Draped Around Callista's Neck

In what likely shattered dreams of a Merry Christmas for countless Americans from sea to shining sea, the Republican Party of Virginia announced that Newton Leroy “Newt” Gingrich was offically disqualified from the Virginia primary ballot because he was having too much fun running for president of dumb, meaningless teevee debates to be bothered to […]

Forget "Small, Insignificant States" Like Uzbekistan, What America Really Needs Is A Small, Insignificant Statesman Like Herman Cain

Delusional pizza merchant and self-proclaimed delicious black walnut (he certainly is nutty!) Herman Cain, will not rest until every last second of his desperate, quickly expiring 15 minutes of fame (aka GOP presidential relevancy) is utterly and completely exhausted.

Which is why the rest of us are forced to endure Herman’s non-stop, whirlwind media tour, letting […]

The Most Nerve-Wracking Moment of George W. Bush’s Presidency Was Throwing A Baseball; Throwing Two Wars & An Economy In The Gutter Is Child's Play

How’s That For A Strike?

Human caricature and accidental cowboy president George W. Bush sure had a lot of “nerve-wracking” moments during his 8-year reign showering peace and prosperity smart bombs and death onto the land with his signature combination of utter recklessness and absolute idiocy.

And with the worst terrorist attack in U.S. history, two endless, […]

Eric Cantor: Putting The Can't In Helping Tornado Victims Or Anyone Not Named Eric Cantor

House majority leader and sniveling greed monster Eric Cantor (Republican-Hell) never met a natural disaster victim he didn’t feel complete indifference towards or emergency relief budget he didn’t want to slash into tiny bits and pieces, sort of like the town of Joplin, Missouri where raging tornadoes and violent storms killed at least 122 people, […]

BP Apologizes For Failing To "Top Kill" Anything, Except Mother Earth, Of Course!

Howdy America and Happy Memorial Day to all of you, even those who aren’t in the military and have done nothing to honor our soldiers except shove brats and burgers in your big. fat mouths while competing to see who can guzzle the most beers and smash the empty cans against their foreheads in the […]