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How Do You Know You're In Alaska? The Writing's On The Wall!

Ah, Alaska, where the snow comes whipping down the plain and year-round, sub-zero winter causes pain!

The majestic land of scantily populated outcasts, grizzled mainland failures, migrating moose, and money-grubbing half-term governors of God ‘n guns, whose idea of publicly funded art isn’t a sidewalk mural or main street sculpture, but misspelled, grammatically incorrect chickenscratch scrawled […]

Joe Miller Loves Freedom So Much, He'll Take Away Yours Just For Asking Too Many Meany Questions

If you are a no-good, arugula-eating, non-mammal killing journylist in the Great State of Alaska and maybe wanna ask the actual Republican running for U.S. Senate, Joe ‘Grizzly Beard’ Miller, a question or two after a town hall meeting at an Anchorage middle school, consider yourself forewarned, my friend!

“We’ve drawn a line in the […]

Sarah Palin's Alaska: All The Flippin' Fun & Freedom You Could Cram Into 663,268 Sq. Miles Of Frozen Arctic Nothingness

“This is flippin’ fun! I’d rather be doing this than in some stuffy old political office. I’d rather be out here bein’ free!” — Sarah Palin, Mother Of All Grizzlies Everywhere

Hear that America? Sarah Louise Barracuda Mama Grizzly Palin has big plans, BIG PLANS, to soon become President Empress of God’s America, because, well, […]

Who The Hell Is 'Orora' & What Has It Done To America's Most Cherished Online Cheerleader Sarah Palin?

Since holding an actual elected position is clearly beneath her Arctic highness Sarah Palin (the only qualified person in America to do anything), perhaps more suited to her “skills” would be to function as an effective wingnut “cheerleader,” based purely on her experience in patriotically quitting the only elected statewide office she’s ever […]

Glenn Beck & Sarah Palin Know The Best Way To Honor 9/11 Victims Is To Score As Much Dirty, Sexy Money Off The Poor Schmucks As Possible!

In “honor” of the thousands of innocent American civilians murdered nine years ago, on that fateful autumn day in 2001, überpatriots Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck will be a holding their own personal 9/11 event in Alaska to “honor” their own uncanny ability to dupe the dumb public into pouring moose piles of dirty money into […]

The "Healthy Lifestyle" Of Mama Bear Sarah And Her Precious Lovebirds' Bristol & Levi's Drama-Free Sleigh Ride To The Altar

ARGHHHH, Help Bristol, Some Weird Thing Is Touching Me!!

Beloved Arctic heartthrobs Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston decided why the hell not give Us Weekly a little more of the gossipy good stuff, who in turn decided why the hell not place the BRISTOLing interview with the li’l lovebirds in their “Healthy Lifestyle” section of their […]

OMG! Breaking News: Levi Johnston & Bristol Palin Are Back In Love, & Everything Bad He Said Was A Lie, Until Their Next Break Up

America’s favorite spurned, tell-all baby daddy and almost X-rated Alaskan answer to Scott Brown, hunky heartthrob Levi “Almost Showed My” Johnston wants you to know all those mean, terrible, private things he said about the Palins, specifically sweet matriarch Sarah Palin, were actually mere figments of his wild, teenage imagination and he’s deeply sorry for […]

Sarah Palin’s Foreign Policy Manifesto Via Facebook! Hint 2 NObama: “Less Bow, More Boom Boom Pow!”

Fresh off her keynote “speech” to wingnuts and white robe-wearing patriots at last week’s “Freedom Fest” in Virginia, world famous Arctic drifter and empress of the North Pole took to her favoritest Facebook to do what she does best: no, no, not bilk the public out of moose piles of money, silly! The other thing […]

Uh-Oh, Could The Ponzi Scheme Known As $arah Palin's Speech Scam 'cross Real America Be Finished?

Oh no-zees! All $arah Palin wanted to do was take a much-needed break from her hectic life giving slightly different versions of the same dumb campaign speech at various conventions, trade shows, and wingnut rallies for oodles of delicious, cold hard cash, and head back home to relax with the fam at her lakeside abode […]

$arah Palin Knows, Yes We Can, Spill Baby Spill!

National oil whore $arah Palin knows a thing or two about spillin’ baby spillin’ barrels of delicious petroleum up ‘n down America’s southern coast, because one time back in 1989, when Exxon Valdez was drillin’ baby drillin’ all over Prince William Sound, the exact same thing happened to her wonderful Alaska, for Pete’s […]