Abraham Lincoln | Democralypse Now - The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites

Teabaggers Prove They're Not Racist (& Love Coloreds!) By Firing One Totally Racist Guy Who Used To Be Their Spokesman

When you’re a Teabagger, that is, a member of the elite group that shares its moniker with the incredibly sexy act of dipping testicles into open, gaping mouths or slapping them atop the head, cheek or anywhere else balls can be swung, who thinks dressing up like Benjamin Franklin and hollerin’ ’bout black Socialist [...]

It’s Presidents Day! Guess The Only Patriotic Thing To Do Is Pray For Obama’s Death Like A Good American

On this beautiful Presidents Day, most Americans are content to honor the February birthdays of the nation’s first president, George Washington, who helped found the country, and the nation’s 16th president, Abraham Lincoln, who helped keep the country together, by not going to work, school or the mailbox, and maybe even saving a few bucks [...]

The "Winners" In Illinois’ Elections May Not Be Clear, But The Losers Sure Are!

Ay, Illinoizzzzzz how you doin’?

Eh, not so well, if you happen to be a resident, concerned citizen, recently elected politician, or just a regular Joe who simply would like to have one elected official not also be a deranged lunatic with a shady past and a rap sheet the size of Rod Blagojevich’s stylish coif.

In [...]

Lack Of Funds, Credibility Dooms Sen. Roland Burris’ Re-Election Hopes

Barack Obama’s legendary replacement, Sen. Roland “No Taint” Burris, will NOT be running for re-election in 2010, keeping his streak of never being legitimately elected to the U.S. Senate alive and well. Go Roland!

Although Burris has yet to announce his decision publicly, one can only assume it may have something to do with the fact [...]

Making The Dream Reality

Thanks to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s dream, President Barack Obama’s about to become our reality.

And in Mr. goody two-shoes Obama’s reality, honoring the birth of the great civil rights leader who sacrificed everything, including his life, to bring justice and equality to all Americans should mean more than not having to work or learn [...]